Bride disinvites guests based on moral judgements; bridesmaids start to drop out.
"AITA for refusing to be my sister's MOH after she said I can't bring my bf of 10 years and my children to her wedding because we are not married?"
I (33f) have been with my bf (35m) for over 10 years now. We have 2 kids together (twins) aged 8. I have an older sister (38) Nina who is getting married to Dan (37m). She has a 16 yo and a 5yo from her previous relationship. She has known Dan for about 2 years.
Her wedding is in 2 weeks time. I was meant to be a Maid of Honour and had my final dress fitting was about a week ago. Nina is very particular about how she wants her wedding to go so the dresses took 2-3 months to be made.
The MOH dress and bridesmaid dresses are slightly different. The MOH dress looks more upgraded compared to bridesmaids dresses, and is closer in style to the bride's dress. Because I'm her only sister Nina said she couldn't imagine anyone else wearing the MOH dress.
Last week I found out that neither my boyfriend nor my twins are invited to the wedding as my sister has cancelled their invitations (the wedding is not child free since her kids and our nephews and nieces are going to be there).
When I have asked her what is wrong she said she doesn't feel comfortable having my bf at her wedding because we are still not married, and since the twins were born outside of marriage, they can't come in too.
I was furious and reminded her that she herself has 2 kids that were born 'outside of marriage' (this is her first marriage) and she is currently pregnant with another one. Nina said she 'understood her sins and is working to redeem them', but her word is final. Some bridesmaids and guests who have kids with their boyfriends' are receiving a letter saying the bf and kids are no longer invited.
So I decided, along with a few other bridesmaids, to pull out off the wedding. I also said I will not be giving my MOH dress either since I have fully paid for it and for all the fittings.
My sister called me an a**%ole and is asking our parents to do something, since she can't have another MOH, and a new dress would take too long to be made, and everything is already fully paid. AITA?
Here's what people had to say:
vain_alchemist3723 said:
She f**keth around and found thee out. NTA
crispyliza said:
Playeth stupid games, winneth stupid prizes.
amore-7 said:
NTA. Matthew 7:5: You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. I’m not religious, but this reminded me of this verse.
UsuallyWrite2 asked:
What’s the likelihood that she is being told by her fiancé that this is how it needs to be? Like is this guy a religious nut and controlling and trying to separate your sister from her friends and family? NTA
TAreligioussister OP responded:
They did meet at the church, however our parents believe I shouldn't have pulled out from the wedding because family
Targa85 said:
NTA. That’s cruel of her. Especially to uninvite at the last minute. If pressed, you could sell the MOH dress back to her for the same cost you paid (what are you going to do with it anyway), but you are certainly under no obligation to give it to her. Good for you for not going, sticking with your partner and kids.
TAreligioussister OP responded:
This MOH dress actually looks like a very nice evening dress. If i show it to someone they wouldn't think it is MOH dress at all due to the stile of it.
Vegetable-Bee-7545 said:
Not trying to displace her blame (she is 100% accountable for her actions), but how much of this is coming from her fiancé and his family? It seems like a 180 in personality for your sister…and if it is coming from the fiancé and his family, this marriage won’t last long
TAreligioussister OP responded:
Honestly I am not sure. She has always been known to have weird changes of mind every now and then. The last one was when she had her youngest when all of the sudden she decided to split up with the guy just before the kid was born and not put his name on the birth certificate. There wasn't any abuse or anything like that as they were living next to us and we used to spend a lot of time together.