Bride plans to wear white wedding dress; her mom says, 'You're anything but pure.'
'AITA for wanting to wear white at MY wedding?'
I (25,f) am due to get married next year. I come from a very religious and old fashioned family (Christian).
I was in the midst of wedding planning when my Mum asked me about dresses, so I showed her the ones I liked (white ones,) to which she said I was ‘mocking the religion as the white symbolises purity’ and I am ‘anything but pure.’ (For context I had a baby at 19 out of wedlock).
My mother then said my grandparents would be deeply ashamed of me for wearing white. However this particular set of grandparents cut me off when I was pregnant.
I absolutely love the white dress at a wedding look and understand that it can symbolise purity but it doesn’t have to, does it? My fiancé (26,m) does not agree with my mother and says I should wear what I want. I just feel guilty that I could be disrespecting the religion.
Here's what people had to say:
CanterCircles writes:
Brides wear white because it was popularized in Western culture by Queen Victoria. It has nothing to do with religion or purity. It's your wedding, wear whatever you want. NTA.
Alexia00000 OP replied:
Yes I have seen another commenter say this. I haven’t done any research on it it’s just what I’ve been told my whole life. To keep my purity and wear white for purity to get married in a church and be accepted.
geckotatgirl writes:
NTA. OP, if your mother is so offended by your wearing white, perhaps it's better that she not come.
Alexia00000 OP replied:
My mother won’t turn up if I wear white.
skullyfrost40 writes:
NTA...What are your beliefs? If you want to wear white do it. It's an outdated cultural belief anyway. Ask them to find it in the Bible that you can't wear white.
Alexia00000 OP replied:
I very loosely follow Christianity, I feel some of the ‘stories’ (chapters) are very metaphorical and can be looked on in a good way for influence. However there is a lot more that I disagree with and I do not believe there is a man in the sky dictating what happens after I die.
TheLovelyMadamToh writes:
Bugger your mum. It's not her wedding. Congratulations!!!! Hope you have an amazing wedding. You will look beautiful in white.
NTA. Princess Catherine and Prince William were together fot 10 years before getting married and she wore white. Does anyone REALLY think they went 10 years without having sex.
Alexia00000 OP replied:
Thank you!
Aunty_Fascist writes:
NTA It's cultural to wear white for a wedding. It's also your wedding so you get to wear what you want. Your mom can go kick rocks.
ThorsHammerMewMEw writes:
Relatively recent culture at that. Plenty of women used to get married in their Sunday best which could be red, green, blue etc until white was popularised.