Dad refuses to pay for son's wedding if stepdad is walking him down aisle. AITA?
'AITA for refusing to pay for my son's wedding if I have to walk him down the aisle with his stepdad?'
I was still serving in the army when my oldest son 'Karter' 23M was 5 - 10. His mom and I were divorced by then but, I always made every effort to be a good dad and spend time with him while on leave.
When I left the Army I've spent every moment I could with my boy. We still have a good relationship.
Now my ex remarried pretty quick to a nice guy 'Steven' which of course he did treat Karter well and I'm not knocking that even though we don't get along but, I'm his actual dad.
Karter's getting married to his fiance 'Clark' 25M at the end of next month. My ex and Steven are a kinda strapped for cash and Clark's family isn't exactly wealthy so they asked me if I'd foot the bill.
I agreed cause of course I'd do anything for my boy. Come to find out yesterday that Karter wants both me and Steven to walk him down the aisle.
That honestly really p*ssed me off you know cause I'm Karter's actual dad and I'm paying for everything and I've always been there for him. It hurt alot that he'd want some step parent to walk him down the aisle.
We got into a huge fight about this morning and I told him that I wouldn't pay for the wedding if Steven walks him down the aisle. My ex is p*ssed and thanks I'm being selfish but, my dad thinks I should push harder. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
YTA. Way to prove to Karter which father he can rely on.
You were a big part of why he has two dad's after you and his mom divorced. That certainly wasn't his choice. He didn't ask to have a step dad, but you and your ex wife's life choices forced that on him. Now you're jealous that he has a good relationship with his step dad too and want him all to yourself.
It ain't about you bro. It's about your son and his SO getting married. Wanting both dad's to walk him down the aisle doesn't mean he loves you less. And paying for his wedding doesn't buy his love either. Gonna take some time to dig out of the hole in his trust and love for you that you just dug.
NTA! Your the father and it’s your money! Remind your son who his father is and explain to him that it cost to be the boss! Oh and your ex has nothing to do with this unless she has money!
I was leaning the other way, but you made some good points and I've changed my mind, OP, ya, YTA... On a side note, someone on the internet changed someone else's mind instead of arguing to the death! Alert the media!
Consider us alerted!
Yta - it's not about you. It's about your kid. Who loves BOTH his dads who have been there the majority of his life.
YTA. Change your perspective a bit. Have you seen how many a**hole step-parent stories there are in the world? You should be thankful that son's stepdad treated your child well enough during the times he wasn't with you that he wants both of you with him on his special day.
Don't treat it like some sort of competition or make him have to choose between two people he loves on a day that is all about celebrating love.
NTA screw that you’re paying for the WHOLEEE thing he should be grateful and let you do it.
I just want to say how awesome you are for even wanting to walk your son down the aisle. As a gay guy, let me just say, I love that you’d do it. In times like they are and the society we live in, not all parents would be/are as accepting.
Maybe you overreacted a bit. I totally understand your hurt. Truly get how that can feel like a slap in the face. No matter how good you were or how good the stepdad is, for you as the bio dad, it can make you feel less official.
Don’t abandon your son because of all this. Talk, discuss, etc. He needs you. You need him. It’s a wedding with parents who want to be there. We don’t all get that. Cherish it. Appreciate it.