Dad asks if he was wrong for walking out on son's wedding over mother-son dance.
AITA for leaving my son's wedding after he denied his stepmom a mother-son dance?
My son 'Jordan' is 27. His stepmom 'Natalie' came into his life when he was 16. His mom had passed away when he was 13. Jordan never really considered Natalie as his his mom. He refused to let her get close and shut down every attempt to have a close relationship. He even moved in with his aunt months after Natalie and I got married.
As years went by, they started reconciling and seeing each other more often. He invited us to his wedding which took place days ago.
We got there and the atmosphere was great, until later when I found out that Jordan had denied Natalie a mother-son dance and instead chose his aunt to dance with him. Natalie told me this minutes later and I couldn't help feel irritated and quite upset.
I decided to get up and leave and we both left. I got calls from my family after they saw me leave. And Jordan called later and I told him why I did it. He got mad and said it was his wedding and that his aunt is basically a mother to him and said that Natalie shouldn't expect 'special treatment'.
I said it's not special treatment but a tradition. Besides that he hurt her feelings for no reason other than for the sake of being malicious. He got offended and accused me of ruining his day and causing a scene. Now the family sided with him and said I shouldn't have left no matter what.
Here's what people had to say:
Biera1 writes:
YTA. Your wife has never been his mother and he has every right to not have a mother/son dance with her. I strongly suspect this isn't the first time you've chosen your wife over your son and is probably why he moved in with his aunt.
If you want any kind of relationship with your son going forward, I very much recommend both you and your wife apologise for throwing a tantrum at his wedding.
Raoyee3 OP responded:
Take it from me, My wife has never mistreated him in any way whatsoever. Matter of fact, she even contributed towards his education although he has no idea because if he knew, he wouldn't have accepted it.
Alarmed_Jellyfish555 writes:
For OP's son to have moved out after only a few months, I have a feeling the reason is because OP and his wife were trying to force him to accept the stepmom as his 'mom' right from the start.
And after all that happened, OP's son invites them both to his wedding, and OP has the audacity to demand a mother/son dance? Then they leave when they don't get their way? Wow, there goes any chance of them mending their relationship. YTA
Top-Musician-4475 writes:
Wow. YTA. Way to make your son's wedding all about you and your wife. You already said that he never considered her his mom, so why in the hell did you expect him to invite her to do something that is traditionally for mothers and sons?
For all intents and purposes, his aunt is a hell of a lot more of a mother to him than your wife. You are selfish, entitled people. Disgusting, and you should be ashamed.
sexmountain writes:
YTA. In your 5th sentence you say that she was never considered his mom, and you never tell us why he left your home for his aunt who he really trusted, because of your marriage. For a child to leave their home which should be his safe place, is huge.