Guest roasts $500 'Black Tie' NYE wedding with cash bar, 'I expect a free beer.'

Receiving an invitation for a Black Tie mandatory wedding is usually an exciting excuse to dress up and drink free champagne, but unfortunately that free glass of bubbly isn't always guaranteed...

Finding an ankle length dress or tuxedo to attend a wedding can be an annoying task, but the photos and luxurious evening often make up for the dress code chore. What happens, though, when the wedding in question takes over your holiday plans and you spend your New Year's Eve night in your fanciest formal wear sharing a plate of pineappes? So, when a frustrated wedding guest decided to vent about her 1-star experience, the gloriously petty people of 'Wedding Shaming' on Reddit were eager to roast this couple.

Here's my New Year's Eve “Black Tie” wedding experience...

They sent Save The Dates out about three months beforehand and invites a month after that. okay, bold move for your nye wedding. There was no website but the invite was simple and said “couples names, 6pm, location, black tie.”

Many men rented tuxes or at least wore a three piece suit. the women were dressed sexy as hell in ballgowns, I got a new dress for it also because I didn’t have anything black tie level.

Now onto the wedding. There were a lot of weird things along the way that made it very not black tie. No coat check, cocktail hour was in a conference room with a single charcuterie table, reception was a cash bar, dessert was a bowl of pineapple slices on the table.

If you set the expectation of a black tie affair then you need to follow through on that. I get that it sounds so fun to have people dressed up, but come the f*ck on.

Later, they edited the post to include:

Now to answer some questions:

It was not only a cash bar but it was cash only (aka no cards) and the hotel did not have a working ATM. So if you didn’t have cash you were either sober or borrowing money all night. on nye.

Your request for your guests needs to match the experience you provide. We spent easily $500 to make this night happen ($100 dress, $150 hair and nail appt, $100 in ubers cause of holiday pricing, $200 gift…just off the top of my head) so yeah I kind of expect a free beer out of it.

This isn’t about being snobby or gatekeeping black tie. I could not afford a black tie wedding so i didn’t have one. I cannot afford a mercedes so i don’t have one. thats it.

The wedding was at a hotel so most guests paid for rooms. we didn’t since we live close enough that ubers made more sense than getting a room and a dog sitter. It's the winter, yeah idk i expect a coat check esp at a hotel wedding. Since etiquette greatly varies by location, I'm in the northeast us. So I’ll admit we’re up there when it comes to snobbery expectations.

This was a second marriage for both the bride and groom, not like it was some young naive couple thats never been to a wedding before. Sorry they weren’t pineapple slices, they were pineapple chunks. my bad. We weren’t even given a toasting champagne :(

Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to pile onto this shaming session. Here's what people had to say about this black tie flop...

Milliebug1106 said:

...at this point just have a new years eve party that starts with a quick ceremony at the courthouse

rnjbond said:

Pineapple slices for dessert at a wedding?

goingthrushit said:

Sooooo many things wrong here. Jesus. First STDs 3 months before a NYE wedding??? Is everyone super local? I mean invitations should have been going out at this point and given the holiday aspect I would have done save the dates wayyy in advance. Just me but I’m annoyed at 3 months notice for you. But moving on from that CASH BAR??? On NYE?? With black tie?? Who are these cheap ass people with poor planning skills??

I would have taken my card back and used the gift money at the bar. Your gift at that point is my presence and everything I spent to get here. I’m sorry this is tacky tacky tacky and I can’t believe people are still pulling this Bs. You staying is better than me, I would have taken my new dress, mani/pedi and hair out on the town. If I’m paying for drink and there’s no food, there’s no need for me to stay.

PlayFree_Bird said:

I guarantee that they were not thinking at all about the expectation they set for themselves as hosts. The extent of the thought that went into this was 'I want everybody to look nice in my photos of my special day.' The typical wedding guest is seen as a mere prop to surround the bridal party these days.

kam0706 said:

I absolutely hate when people say black tie but don’t know what it means. I’ve been invited to a black tie wedding in March but I was suss and scoped it out a bit with the bride. She said “wear whatever you want. We just said black tie as we had to put something”. No. That’s when you say “formal” or “cocktail” if you want people to dress nice. Hell, say “dress up nice.'

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this couple unfortunately didn't do their research on what a formal wedding entails and if you're going to insist on guests paying for their own drinks, you could at least let them wear cocktail attire. Cheers to the New Year (and new enemies).