What happens when there are no chairs for you and your plus-one who ignored the wedding invitation for 3 months and didn't respond to the bride's 10 texts asking 'are you coming to my wedding?' So, when a frustrated hotel employee decided to vent to the gloriously petty Reddit group, 'Wedding Shaming,' about entitled guests semi-crashing weddings on a regular basis, people were appalled at the audacity.
I can’t believe I have to even say this. It happens at least once a month at our hotel.
Reception starts, Angry guests demand that chairs are missing and start harassing banquet staff that they can’t find their seats. Sooooo management steps in and asks...
“Did you see your name on the seating chart?” “Are you on the guest list?” “Did you RSVP?” “Were you invited” The answer to these always ends up being some version of no. They came with someone else, brought by their other friends or family member but they know the couple.
Rolling their eyes at us like “duh.'
People…I’m just in awe of the audacity that anyone thinks you can just show up to eat and drink for free to someone's freaking wedding. The couple paid for guests that were invited and RSVP'd, it is not a church pot luck.
Do you know what happens when you do this? If they didn’t pay for you…they now have to to! We might have to go to the couple on their wedding day and ask them if it is okay to add you to a table and charge for the extra plates. Are you really that much of an as*hole?
They planned a special day with place-cards, planned table seating, linen napkins, custom chargers and you want an entire table reset because you decided to show up. Then you are upset that the table we reset for you isn’t to your liking?!?
Most of these couples are genuinely shocked people do this and graciously ask us to just make it happen. Don’t be this person. Please - I beg you to have some self awareness and don’t do this. If I were the couple, I would make you pay for your meal if you didn’t RSVP and especially if you weren’t invited.
How hard is it to check off 'I will be attending' and mail the RSVP card? Or, if you seriously can't be bothered to send back the pre-stamped card that's included in most wedding invitations, you can't send a text message acknowledging the fact that you were invited? Showing up and expecting the venue staff and couple getting married to spring into action to accommodate you is so disrespectful that it's almost impressive. Regardless, it's a surefire way to be dragged to filth for years to come at family holidays.
_pillow_overload said:
So...I'm a Polynesian woman, and in my culture it's custom for invitations to usually include the whole family. As a child it looked fun because yay more people more fun. As an adult, this sh*t irritates the hell out of me. I learned that our buffets always added an extra 100/150 people. You had to.
There were always people who brought their kids, cousins, visiting out-of-towners. And people who would attempt to make 'family ' plates five minutes after the buffet opened.
My mom got famous for announcing loudly and shaming anyone who tried this at our parties. Because of this, I've been to many a party where the food has run out. People have no shame.
SweetLittleUmbreon said:
I work at a hotel, the stories that come out of these weddings either range from hilarious to disgusting.
That1chick1187 said:
THANK YOU! I’m a banquet director and I have sooooo many stories about rude guests/rude family members. It’s insane. Something similar to what OP is saying is when people decide to just move tables and they say they need extra settings, when all along we could’ve just moved their old setting to the new spot, but they made it sound like we didn’t set the tables correctly.
Moving tables can also throw us off when it’s a “choice - of “ meal and the guests moved seats and lost their card and have no idea what they’re eating and now they’re guessing. This isn’t a restaurant where we just make food on the fly. We have counts for a reason! And we have a system to create an easy flow and serve everyone as quickly as possible.
Also - for the love of god- SIT DOWN when they are serving dinner! Especially when it’s a “choice of” meal! And lastly - don’t get mad when we have to shut the bar after cocktail hour for grand entrance. You had a whole hour to get drinks!! We’ll re open again...calm down. We have a schedule to follow. Anyway, I could rant on for ages.
BeautifulBirthday209 said:
This happened at my wedding. People who said they were not coming not only came but brought extra ppl that were never invited. Then the grooms family lied to the bar staff saying they were getting spirits for me and the groom that they were drinking themselves.
His family cost us about 500 extra that we were asked about during our wedding. Obviously neither of us has money on us. We had to use our honeymoon fund to pay the extra bill the next morning.
Let this be a lesson for everyone: do NOT show up to a wedding that you didn't RSVP to. And, if you insist on casually crashing a family member's wedding...don't have an attitude about it, ok? The staff and the couple getting married are all trying to best to help you because you didn't plan ahead and the last thing they need is an entitled, freeloading Karen on a mission complaining to them about the seating chart. Good luck out there, everyone!