So, when a conflicted mother-of-the-groom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about repeatedly forgetting her son's 'little' backyard wedding reception, people were eager to help deem a verdict.
My son and his partner, both of whom are in their early 40’s, were married on Friday. They decided to have a very simple courthouse wedding with only a select few close family members in attendance followed by a backyard BBQ reception at their home with more friends and extended family invited.
Leading up to their event I had misplaced the date a couple times as my phone calendar has been acting up and not syncing with my computer which was the device I had used to input their wedding.
Due to this, I had a few times accidentally went to make other plans for this weekend before being corrected. Erroneously I responded I had forgotten about their little BBQ get together and I would change my other plans. Again, my phone calendar has not been populating from my computer.
Additionally, unlike with my daughter's wedding where I was very involved, my son and his partner wanted everything to be understated and simple and so I had no involvement in planning. They have been partners close to twenty years at this point and I consider them basically married for all intents and purposes.
I am finding, however, now that the event is over, my daughter has told me she didn’t like the way I spoke about the wedding or reception. In particular she did not like that I referred to their party as a BBQ apparently.
I find that since their father and I divorced that all the fault lies with me in my children’s eyes. I wasn’t aware of any offense, but my son will never tell me when he is upset and prefers to more or less ignore me half of the time.
I’m still not sure what social faux pas I’ve made with the younger crowd this time, perhaps nothing and my family in particular is sensitive. Of course, I will apologize to my son if he took any offense.
bimmer_rider said:
YTA (You're the As*hole). Your son was getting married and you needed a calendar to remind you of the date? Do you really not see that the problem is not merely the semantics here?
DrMamaBear said:
Repeatedly. You repeatedly forgot the date of their WEDDING. You referred to it as “their little bbq.' Yeah YTA. You could have written it on a post it on the fridge if you were having tech problems.
jhonotan1 said:
That last paragraph screams 'missing missing reasons'. She claims that since her divorce, everything she does is wrong, and she doesn't understand what faux pas she made 'with the young people.'
Ma'am, young and old, no one wants one of their huge life milestones to be repeatedly called 'a little BBQ get together' and I'm positive you know that but you're too self-centered to admit you're wrong. Poor you.
wanderingstorm said:
You referred to your son's WEDDING as a 'little BBQ get together.' YTA.
Gubblers said:
YTA - stop blaming technology for what should be an important date for your calendar. If you were having IT issues, then put it in manually. ‘Little BBQ get together’ was also out of line, it was their Reception, how they wanted it for their day.
Sounds like you were salty because you had not been involved; well, get this, it’s not about you! You definitely need to apologize, then take some time to reflect on your behavior and how it affects others.
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this mom is so wrong that it's almost impressive at this point. Referring to her son's wedding as a 'little' event is rude, but the sting burns even harder with the detail of repeatedly forgetting to prioritize it in her schedule.
I'm sure if it was at a 5-star hotel on a beach she would've remembered it was her own son's wedding regardless of her 'involvement' in the planning process. Good luck to this family at future holidays...