Man uninvited to wedding because bride thinks he'll 'creep' on her hot sister. UPDATED 5X
"AITA for telling people that I wasn't invited to a wedding?"
weddinginvite69
I've been working for my company for 7 years now, five of which have been spent on my current team. There are 15 people on it and I'd say we're all pretty close, relatively speaking. I have a coworker named Bob[33m], who joined the team when I did.
During the pandemic he announced to everyone on a Zoom meeting that he was now engaged. Fast forward to this January and Bob says that his wedding would be held in September of this year at a really beautiful winery.
About five months ago the invites started coming in for everyone on the team, but mine didn't. I waited a few weeks but nothing came, so I went to Bob and asked if my invite got sent out. He gave me a solemn look and then told me that I wasn't invited because of a "spacing issue".
He said he tried to make it work, but just couldn't, and hoped I didn't take it personally. He also said I'd be sure to get wedding favors and a piece of cake. He also asked me to keep it to myself and "please not make a big deal out of it". I honestly didn't know what to say, so I guess I just said "okay" and walked away.
I won't lie, I was upset. I hate feeling excluded, and it was doubly worse because everyone else on the team was going except for me. And honestly, I really like weddings, they're usually very fun. I kept it to myself, but I wasn't happy.
The day of the wedding came three weeks ago. and it went by without a hitch. Everyone on my team had a grand time and said it was beautiful The food and party was great as well and apparently everyone got a dozen fresh apple cider donuts to take home. I never did get that cake or wedding favors btw.
At work the following Monday my team member, Sherri, told me that everyone was confused as to where I was. Apparently Bob said I was sick and couldn't make it. I was confused and then pi$$ed, I straight up told her I wasn't invited, and left it at that.
She looked shocked, and asked me to confirm and I said yes I wasn't invited. Well Sherri told someone, because about five people asked me if I wasn't invited and I said it was true.
Today was Bob's first day back from his honeymoon and it must have gotten back to him that I spilled the beans. He approached me in the break room and he was upset that I told Sherri and that it wasn't a big deal I missed the wedding. I said "how would you like to be excluded from something everyone else is going to?"
We went back and forth for a bit, before Bob walked away. I was pretty upset, so upset that my project manager came to ask me if I was okay because she heard about me not being invited. I didn't want this to go this far, so I said yes. But other team members came up to me and said that Bob should have invited me, and it was wrong he didn't.
Look I realize that it was his wedding day and he's allowed to invite who he wants, but I'm allowed to be upset that I wasn't invited right? So reddit, AITA for telling people I wasn't invited to the wedding and being upset about it?
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's first post:
kr0mb0pulos_michael
NTA. You didn't ruin his wedding day, and you didn't say anything prior to the wedding, nor make a big deal of it. Bob straight up lied to your colleagues about why you couldn't attend, which is incredibly bizarre and a major AH move. You just corrected his "mistake".
siamesecat1935
This. Bob was the AH, not you. Yes he’s allowed to invite, or not invite, whoever he chooses. But that doesn’t mean he can lie as to why you weren’t there. That’s mental.
shawslate
I wonder how personal this actually is to Bob. He asked you to keep quiet, then lied; what other secrets is he keeping, and what is it about OP that he dislikes so much?
pittsburgpam
That's what I want to know. What personally does Bob have against OP being at the wedding? Does OP by chance know the bride, or doesn't know who it is but he knows her and she knows OP? Do they have some past with each other? Even if that's the case, Bob should have been upfront and told the truth.
Three days later, the OP returned with an update.
"UPDATE: AITA for telling people that I wasn't invited to a wedding"
weddinginvite69
I want to thank you all for the responses, especially for the wedding invites. Well, I have an update to this story and it took an interesting turn. Bob and I were in the office today. He came to me and asked if we could talk. He asked if we could clear the air over some beers with his wife after work and I said okay.
After work I meet Bob and his wife "Pam" in a bar. They both apologized for not inviting me, and making me feel excluded. Bob apologized for lying and getting mad about it.
The reason they didn't invite me is because they didn't want single guys at the wedding. They went to a big wedding back in 2019 that was ruined when a bunch of drunk, single guys started hitting on the women there. A few of the boyfriends and husbands got pi$$ed and it turned into a big fight. It completely ruined the wedding.
I found it hard to believe, but they showed me a couple of Facebook videos of them at a wedding, and it looked the darn Royal Rumble going on. I was even shown a few Facebook statuses confirming their story. Pam said she was sort of traumatized by this and swore they'd have no single guys at their wedding.
Well the wedding came and Pam stuck to her guns. Only family, couples, single women or trusted single men were to be invited. Pam said that there were only about 10 single guys there, and they were all family members or groomsmen. She said the party turned out amazing this way since women didn't have to worry about being hit on.
Pam said it truly wasn't personal, and that she's so sorry for not inviting me, but she would do it again. I asked if she and Bob didn't trust me enough to control myself. She said that Bob vouched hard for me, but she was sticking to her guns. The compromise was that she'd have to explain it if anyone asked, and that Bob got to choose the honeymoon destination.
Curiously she said that she had a sister around my age and I was "just her type" and she wanted to keep her away from me. I was a little offended at that, but she says that it's for my own good. Her sister is a little bit of sl*t(her words not mine) and she didn't want her to get her hooks in me(again her words).
Bob said he should have handled it better, and he wanted to be honest but it wouldn't have made much of a difference so he hoped I wouldn't mind as much. Plus he figured I wouldn't want to go to a wedding as a single guy anyway.
I told them I was kinda hurt, they thought I would act like a creeper at their wedding. Pam assured me that she thought I was a nice, smart, funny guy but she just wanted to make sure their wedding went off without a hitch. They promised to make it up to me, but I told them it wasn't necessary. Pam insisted on it, and said I had to know how sorry she was.
So, we made plans to have dinner at their expense at a very nice restaurant in the city this weekend. In the end I guess it wasn't anything I did, but I still feel kind of insulted. But I guess I get a free dinner out of it 🤷🏻
Edit: There are a lot of comments here suggesting that I'm being naive, a doormat and letting them off easy for basically calling me a creep. I won't lie, I think you all might be right.
I do believe in taking the high road on most occasions, but I don't think this should be one of those times. As a side note, I don't believe that wanting to see the best in people or taking them at their word makes you naive.
I had a call an hour ago with my project manager and explained the entire situation. She advised me to go to HR and make a complaint since it could lead to a hostile work environment. I have a meeting with them Monday.
I don't really want to make a formal complaint, just have it on file in case anything happens. To be honest, I don't think it will. Bob doesn't seem like that kind of person, but I've been wrong plenty of times before.
So as per the advice here, I won't be going to dinner with Bob and Pam. I will however insist on a public apology that doesn't imply that I'm a creep. And I'm insisting on some fresh apple cider donuts, not store bought, but fresh.
Thank you for making me see the truth reddit. Although I'm disappointed I'm turning down some steak, so you all owe me one haha. Final update: I can't post any further updates on this sub, so I'll post updates on my profile.
Here were the top rated comments after the OP's first update:
Serious_Lie1207
What a pair of aholes.
Delicious_Archer_273
Damn they just insulted him further instead of apologizing. I’d just say “nah, with you thinking so little of me as a person, I don’t see the need to make it up to me because why would you want to be friends with anyone who thinks so little of you. I’d just keep them out of my life.
Lotex_Style
Yeah, I thought the same. At first I was like "Yeah, maybe it'll get better" but after two or three sentences my perception changed to "Well that didn't help like AT ALL, what are they even trying here"
letstrythisagain30
They straight up said they only invited single men that were trusted. That means they don't consider him trustworthy. I would push really fucking hard on that point if I was OP, because every explanation they gave had nothing to do with him.
If Pam was actually traumatized to the point of not inviting single men, she needs therapy. If she is honestly afraid of single men causing such issues at a wedding, what makes her even want to attend events with single men at all unless she can screen every one of them?
Does she refuse to attend birthday parties or other weddings because of this trauma? The logic just doesn't make sense and does not suggest a healthy mindset even if she is being 100% honest.
Two days later, the OP returned with another update.
"Update and More Context"
weddinginvite69
Hey everyone, thanks for stopping by! I'm only allowed one update on AITA, and I can provide more detail with a self-post. Unfortunately, there's an update to this story. Honestly, this whole thing is stupid as hell and I really just want to move on and forget this whole thing happened. But reality is often disappointing.
But first to clarify a few things:
I got a few posts and DM's asking why I felt entitled to be invited. I want to make it clear. I don't feel entitled to anything. Yes, I wanted to be invited, but as I said if they had been honest with me from the beginning I wouldn't have minded as much.
They were allowed to do what they wanted on their wedding day. My problem was the subterfuge used to mask their choice.
I'm usually not this indecisive, but this is a weird situation and I don't exactly know how to handle it. I have never talked to Bob about women, ever. We didn't have that kind of relationship, none of the men on the team do. I think the women do it among themselves, but I can't be sure about it.
I'm choosing to believe Pam about her experience dealing with men. If recent years have shown us anything, is that we need to believe women when they say they've been harassed or assaulted.
The "trusted men '' were made up of family members and groomsmen who were explicitly told not to flirt with the women. Pam had to turn away some of her single guy friends, and Bob had a ton of guy friends who wanted to go but were turned away.
Bob and Pam's after party was going for a club vibe. Pam and some of her friends had very bad experiences being hit on at clubs and Pam wanted to ensure their safety. She got the idea to exclude guys from going to women only clubs.
According to her, the vibe was so much better when women could "get drunk and shake their rears and not be taken harassed by thirsty guys". The women at the wedding appreciated the lack of guys on the dance floor, but some complained about the lack of guys at the wedding.
The wedding Royal Rumble happened at the wedding of one of her closest friends. The friend and her husband were devastated their wedding was ruined. It was so bad that they committed to having a five-year vow renewal. Also, they were stuck with a large cleanup bill from the venue for damages.
As for me, it was 70/30 on me being invited. It came down to the fact that Pam didn't know me at all outside of my superb Super Mario Maker level design. Bob really fought hard for me, but Pam was too unsure, and then she remembered her sister.
According to Pam although she loves her sister to death, her sister is a huge sl*t and goes from guy to guy with the change of the wind. Apparently I'm dangerously her type and she would have been all over me. I asked what was wrong with that, she said her sister doesn't deserve a "sweet guy like me" and she didn't want her to get her hooks in me. This sealed my fate.
Bob said it would look horrible if I wasn't invited. That's when she came up with the compromise of taking the heat for it. He was just hoping that I wouldn't mind not going.
Maybe I'm naive, but I'm choosing to believe Bob about feeling horrible about not inviting me. He seemed really broken up about it, either he's a damn good actor or he's telling the truth.
He acknowledged that the way he handled it was terrible. According to him there was no way of doing this that wasn't awkward. As for why he lied? Apparently he panicked and couldn't think of anything better. Him getting mad at me for not going along with it wasn't necessarily about me, but being mad at Pam for putting him in that situation.
He promised to make a full apology in front of the team when we're all together in the office again in a few weeks. Pam did say that she felt terrible about me and the other guys she had to exclude, but she would do it again to ensure the safety of the women around her.
She was extremely insistent on making it up to me. She said that we should be friends going forward and offered a nice home cooked meal to me followed by some wine and a round of Mario Kart. I turned that down. That's when the expensive restaurant solution was offered.
I accepted because it seemed like a fair compromise at the time. They didn't even have to really apologize for it, but they were offering me dinner so I took it. In hindsight I shouldn't have, but at that point I just wanted to get out of there and go home.
Now for the update:
After reading the comments calling me a doormat, I decided not to accept their dinner offer. I called Bob on his work phone to explain my change of heart. He was disappointed, but understood my reasoning.
I parroted some of the talking points and he said he understood. He wouldn't make a big deal out of it, and we could just move on. I thanked him for being cool about it, and he hung up. I thought that would be the end of it, but not five minutes later Bob calls me back. I groan and pick up; surprisingly, it was Pam on the other side.
She didn't come at me hostile, but she did sound upset. She wanted to know why I didn't want to come anymore. I explained what I told to Bob about how they basically insisted I was a creep. I told her I didn't want to invalidate her experiences, but I didn't have to accept being told I'm a potential predator.
She said that she didn't mean it like that, and that she thinks I'm a good person, but couldn't risk it for her wedding. She was practically begging me to meet her in person to clear the air further. She kept on saying that we could be the best of friends if I'd give her a chance to explain better.
I said no thanks, and that I had to go, but I'm sorry that she went through what she went through. I ended the call by saying, "by the way, I didn't even get those donuts", I then hung up.
It's been quiet since then, but Bob is back in the office on Monday and I fear Pam might do something…. Drastic…I hope this thing is over, but I fear it might not be. In any case I'll update if anything happens.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's second update:
tizianagt
Thanks for updating! I’m sorry that this is dragging on so much, however, standing up for yourself is the best. These people were walking all over you and the “excuses” are really them just trying to save face.
Pam doesn’t care about being friends with you, she just cares about her image because once Bob publicly apologizes, and the truth that it was mainly on her comes out, and the fact that they couldn’t be up front and speak the truth of it all, it’ll look bad on her and all of your work colleagues will probably distance themselves because of their actions.
Make sure the public apology happens with the real explanation. No just “I’m sorry I didn’t invite OP” and some other vague crap.
From now on, any communication with Bob has to be written down. No phone calls because it can become hostile really quickly, especially with Pam taking charge of her husbands work phone and beginning to harass you now to accept her fake apology. Tell your boss that she is doing so on her husbands work phone and that you never meant to start any crap. You were just honest when asked where you were.
You tried to settle it nicely, but you felt guilted, conned, and lied to by Bob and his wife to basically be a doormat and accept their excuses in order to not have Bob have issues at work. Which is totally unacceptable as they created this situation in the first place and made you feel excluded and uncomfortable with your own coworkers when you did nothing wrong.
Hopefully nothing worse happens, but keep evidence of everything going forward and let my your boss know that now Pam is beginning to harass you with her husband’s work phone. Sending you good vibes 💕
yesimreadytorumble
Why do these people think you’ll ever want to be friends with them? If anything, i’d never have a personal conversation with either of them again. Keep it professional and have this entire situation documented with HR because why in the hell is a coworkers wife constantly contacting you in your private phone?
Beyond unprofessional and they’re both being pushy about this subject, nip it in the bud before it escalates. Also her not wanting her sister hooking up with you is very strange to say the least. Neither of these people care about being your friends.
They’re both embarrassed for what they did (and I still believe this whole reasoning is BS) and they’re not desperate for you not to say anything to embarrass them further.
Three more days later and the OP again returned with an update.
"Bob's drunken confession update"
weddinginvite69
Hey everyone!
So, as I mentioned in my last update, I reached out to Bob and explained that I wouldn’t be taking him and Pam up on their weekend dinner offer.
He was disappointed but agreed with me. Pam called me back a few minutes later and fought hard to keep the plans. I declined and left it at that hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn’t….. And now, this silly drama continues.
I went in two hours early on Monday so that I could potentially avoid a Bob after-work chat. Surprisingly, Bob came in an hour early, lining him up to potentially leave with me. Bob looked exhausted. And I don’t mean tired; I mean mentally.
I’ve seen Bob tired; we've worked many late nights on projects together. I’ve seen him hungover; this wasn’t any of that. I almost can’t describe it; he looked worn down. He shot me a “sup” nod, and I gave him one back, and we got to work. I kept my meeting with HR.
Our HR rep is a wonderful lady named “Sally”. I told Sally the whole story, and she said that, in her 15 years of HR work, she’s never heard a more stupid story. We shared a good laugh, and she told me that it would be unofficially logged just in case Bob or Pam did anything crazy.
She told me she thinks Bob is harmless, but to keep my eyes sharp. The rest of the day was uneventful. The most interesting thing that happened was that I saw Bob’s face buried in his hands for a good minute or so.
With two hours to go, I go to the break room for some water. Bob follows me in and approaches cautiously. I gave him a surprised look, and he just threw up his hands as if to say he was not hostile. He said he knows he's the last person I want to talk to right now, but he needs to talk to me.
I said fine, but I angled us over to where the security camera was. Paraphrasing here, but he said, “Look, I won’t ever speak to you again if you don’t want me to, but let me buy you a round and explain all of the things Pam didn’t tell you when we met the other day.”
Bob sounded desperate, something I’d never seen from him before. He then hit me with the money quote: “Look man, I could really use a friend right now, and I’ve always considered you a friend.”
Well sorry to disappoint everyone here, but I’m a big gullible softie. I agreed to talk with him, but I told him that there would be absolutely no more “meetings” on this situation after this. He agreed and said he’d meet me after work.
After work, we walked to our usual bar, the same one I met him and Pam the first time. I suspected Pam might be there, but she wasn’t. Nevertheless, I kept my eye open for her. Once we sat down, Bob apologized yet again.
This one seemed even more genuine than the first. I told him he didn’t need to keep apologizing; I got it the first time. He said that he had to apologize because there’s a lot more to the story about the wedding than I thought.
Bob explained that he fought Pam to get her to give up the single men’s exclusion, but she was dead set on it. They argued for months, and a lot of people offered different solutions. Bob suggested a smaller wedding with only immediate family and friends, but Pam shot that down.
She always dreamed of a big wedding with lots of people there, and a small wedding didn’t fit her dream. Her parents said, “why not hire a security guard?” Pam said that she wanted the possibility eliminated completely. She said that a few single men could stand to not be invited to a party for once in their lives.
Bob said he had a lot of friends who wanted to come and that they would be hurt if they weren’t invited. Pam said she was making sacrifices too; a lot of her guy friends wanted to come. Bob finally relented and said if the exclusion were to happen, he wanted nothing to do with that decision and wanted it known that it was out of his hands.
Pam said she’d take the heat for it if it came to that, but didn’t think people would go crazy over it. She also gave Bob the choice of their honeymoon destination since he was making a big sacrifice. They went to the French Riviera if anyone is curious.
Bob said the wedding, reception, and party were amazing. He said that so many women there were drunk off their assess and falling over themselves. Apparently, they did feel safe, but a drunk vocal minority was complaining about the lack of “hot guys to dance with”.
Bob even laughed because one of them was going around calling it a “Lesbian wedding” since there were only women there. Oh, and some women were absolutely hitting on the handful of single guys there, but Pam didn’t mind that as much. Bob said he wasn’t rubbing it in, just setting up a point. After the honeymoon, they came home to what Bob described as a “PR firestorm”.
Apparently, Pam had lied to her guy friends about why they weren’t invited. One of her close friends let slip the real reason they weren’t invited. They were effing furious. She was flooded with angry calls and messages from her friends about Pam essentially calling them potential predators.
Pam explained her position multiple times to her friends, but it fell on deaf ears. She has lost MANY friends over this. One of the guys said, “if you think that I’m a creeper then why the heck are we even friends?” Pam has been crying for days, and her work life has become terrible; she might even need to leave her job.
By this point, Bob had a few hard drinks and was tipsy, so he let loose a little more. He said that her decision had cost him friends of his own. So many of his guy friends were furious to learn they were excluded, and for the reason why.
On the day of the wedding, about six or so of his closest friends who were excluded decided to go on a fishing trip as a “screw you” to Bob and Pam. The cherry on top of the petty cake? They decide to donate $500 and some items to a local woman’s shelter.
Bob was devastated, and none of those guys are returning his calls or messages. Even their families are upset with them over the exclusion. Pam’s parents are publicly supportive, but chastise her behind the scenes.
She doesn’t have anyone but her bridesmaids and about three other friends who believe in her cause. Bob said at one point that Pam was hysterical and screaming “why can’t anyone just understand my point of view?!”.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but there was more to this crazy story. At this point, we were about an hour in and Bob was nice and tipsy. So, I pried for more information.
Bob said that at first, Pam was sticking to her guns that the exclusion was a good idea, but she was starting to waiver a little bit. She said that most people understood where she was coming from, but that it was too heavy-handed, and even a little sexist.
Bob and Pam have had multiple blowups over this whole situation, and they’re not in a good place right now. He said that instead of feeling giddy about his new wife and basking in the glow of being married, he’s harboring a ton of resentment towards her because she’s cost him a lot of his friends and ruined their lives over a stupid party. As for me?
Apparently, Pam really likes me. One of her biggest regrets about this entire situation is not getting to know me better before the wedding. He said, that Pam thinks I’m one of the coolest people she’s ever met.
I asked Bob how she made that determination from a 15-minute chat, and he laughed and said: “I don’t know man, she probably has a crush on your or something.” I laughed, but that made the situation a little bit weird. As for Pam’s sister?
She is a sassy, but not in the way you may think. Bob explained that Pam’s sister “Beth” is by all accounts a very smart, successful, respectful woman. She just so happens to like men quite a bit. Bob explained that Beth is really into the kink scene and is into things like ethical non-monogamy.
She frequently mentions her adventures to Bob and Pam, and it got them into the lifestyle as well. I was a little surprised, and I asked for clarification, and he said “yeah, she kind of got us into some of that stuff.” I was shocked, I mean how often do you hear that your co-worker is into intense stuff? But hey, no kink-shaming from me.
So, it turns out that Beth isn’t some soul-sucking, home wrecking, out-of-control succubus, she’s just a regular woman who loves intimacy. Bob said that Pam was scared that we would hit it off.
We share many of the same interests and have similar personality types according to Bob, Pam wasn’t lying about that, nor that I was exactly her type. She likes tall guys, and from what I’ve heard, she’d have been all over me if she found out I was single.
Well, now I was curious, so I asked Bob if he had a picture. He pulled up her Instagram, and I must say she was gorgeous. She looked like Pam’s twin, only she was a little bit thicker. I’m not gonna lie, I was pretty pi$$ed at Pam all over again lol. Bob said that Pam has always been a little jealous of Beth.
I don’t know why, Pam is a stunner herself, and looks just like Beth. Bob said that as a FU to Pam, he’d give her my Instagram so we can DM each other, and he’d put in a good word for me. I thanked him profusely lol.
He said that Pam was so desperate to make amends with me because I made a big impression on her, and she thinks that we’d be really good friends if we hung out. Bob said that she was just grasping at straws at this point. She’s lost all of her friends, and she wanted to make another one. He said that he’d reign Pam in so that she wouldn’t bother me anymore.
By this point, Bob is more than tipsy. He says that he’s having doubts about this marriage because the wedding process and aftermath have been a nightmare. He thinks it’d be really shallow to divorce her over this, but his life has been ruined by her choices. I was shocked, and he said “don’t tell Pam please”. I swore that I wouldn’t tell her anything.
Bob paid for our drinks, and he was gonna take public transportation home, but I told him he needs an Uber. He fought me on that, but I insisted and he agreed to take one. I put him in the Uber and sent him on his way. An hour later, Pam texted me from his work phone. She told me: “thank you for taking care of my hubby, you’re a good person.”
I didn’t respond. And that brings us to now. I hope that this is mostly the end of it, but it seems like Pam might be desperate and do something rash. In any case, I’ll keep you fine folks updated.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's third update:
[deleted]
If this is made up I've enjoyed the journey, props to you as a writer dude, you've done an amazing job of weaving in a lot of user-contributions ;). But if it's true this honestly one of the dumbest situations I've ever seen. I'm glad that you weren't the only one to complain about it. Enjoy Beth dude, and get some donuts.
mallowycloud
Pam is sexist. Full stop. Clearly, it comes from a place of trauma, but that doesn't change the fact that she's viewing even her closest male friends as potential rapists, with, it seems, no reason besides her own trauma to back up this belief.
Pam needs therapy. She needs to see why others are hurt by her actions and why she's lost so many friends over it. She also needs to see that what she did to Bob, excluding so many of his friends (it's his wedding too! A compromise should have been reached), was unfair and hurtful, even if it came from good intentions.
Listen, I totally get wanting a women's only space. They're great, they're tons of fun, and it is easier to relax. But she married a man, so it already wasn't going to be man-free. Pam has unrealistic expectations for how others should react to her decisions and clearly knows this seeing as how she lied about the reason for why single guys were disinvited.
It's also weird to me that she seems to think taken men can't (or won't) wreak just as much havoc as single men do. And don't think the internalized misogyny toward her sister escaped me either. Best of luck OP. Sounds like Bob is gonna need your support for his upcoming divorce since I doubt it gets easier from here.
Nine days later, the OP again returned with an update.
"New update: A date with Beth"
weddinginvite69
Hey everyone, nothing major has happened, but I have a small update. Bob was true to his word and gave Beth my Instagram. She messaged me last week and we got to talking. The conversation went so well that we agreed on a coffee date this past weekend.
Well, sorry to disappoint the naysayers here, but the date went extremely well. We talked about a lot: our hobbies, interests, futures, jobs, and families. Bob was right, we are remarkably similar, even down to some of our specific food tastes. The date went so well that we met at a bar next to her office for some after-work drinks. And yes, that date went amazing as well.
Now here's the part I think you're all going to like. We're going to do a hike this coming weekend, and along the way, we're going to make a stop at the winery where Bob and Pam had their wedding and pick me up some GODDAMN APPLE CIDER DONUTS. I think if all goes well with this date, I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend, she just feels special.
So that's it. I'll let you know how that hike date goes, but honestly, I think this situation is mostly settled now. Bob has been keeping his distance, but hooked me up, and Pam hasn't been in contact with me for a week now. After the hike, it'll probably be my last post. I don't intend on milking this thing for unnecessary drama. Thanks all.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's fourth update:
Dresden_Mouse
Ohhh, a nice update, does she know about all the "drama"? I would love to hear about a dinner with the four of you if she's game, but hey good luck on the hike.
The OP responded here:
weddinginvite69
Beth knew all about it, she said everyone begged her to reconsider the ban, but she wouldn't hear of it. Though she didn't understand why she wanted to keep me from her. Also, Beth confirmed the wedding Royal Rumble fiasco and some of Pam's bad experiences.
Apparently she had a guy follow her home from a club one night and that really shook her to her core. Police got involved and everything. Not to mention a couple of guys just straight up groping her in the club. I won't lie, that really made me see things differently. However she did say that Pam had a tendency to be "dramatic" about things.
SkeleTourGuide
I have a strong suspicion that Bob is right that Pam actually might have a crush on you. If like you said Pam has always been jealous of Beth, she may have been trying to keep you apart for selfish reasons. Pay attention to Pam’s behavior after she discovers you and Beth have been on a few dates.
Here’s the rub. If Pam and Bob are practicing non-monogamy, she may view you as a potential partner, which may be another reason Pam was insisting on that dinner. This whole thing can become problematic if you want to maintain a healthy work relationship with Bob. Tread carefully my friend.
Four days later, the OP returned with another update.
"Update IV: The Final Chapter?"
weddinginvite69
Hey all! I want to thank you all for sticking with me through this crazy ass saga. And also for the congratulations for getting with Beth. It means a lot. Now on to the update.
As I mentioned last time, me and Beth had met and had gone on a few dates. She's truly an amazing woman. She's smart, funny, driven and very nice. I'm absolutely smitten with this girl lol. Well, we had a hike this past Saturday and it was beyond amazing. The weather was perfect, the foliage was beautiful, and the view from the top of the mountain was amazing.
We had a picnic at the top of the mountain, and during a lull in the conversation, I summoned all of my courage and asked her if she'd like to be my girlfriend. I was waiting for a more opportune time, but I guess I just got swept up in the moment and view.
She smiled, laughed and said I was the corniest person alive for asking in such a cliché place, but she said that she loved corny and cliché. She said yes, and we sealed it with a kiss.
On our way back, we finally stopped by the winery where Bob and Pam had their wedding and man it really was beautiful. It had panoramic views of the mountains, and the vineyard was very pretty. But I wasn't here for the view, I was here for some GOSH DARN APPLE CIDER DONUTS.
Funny enough, we got there kinda late and almost missed the fresh donuts for the day. Thankfully we got some of the last batches. God those donuts were absolutely delicious. We got two dozen each and and even got some apple filling cider donuts. The wait was worth it.
Afterward we went back to her apartment and made dinner together. I've never had such an amazing date with a woman. It was just perfect. I didn't want to leave, but I couldn't be presumptuous.
When I picked up my keys to go, she grabbed them from me and said and I quote: "if you seriously think you're leaving, then you're out of your mind". I must have had the biggest smile on my face.
So we spent the rest of the weekend together. We had a wonderful Sunday brunch, and a nice walk around our city holding hands going into stores and sightseeing. Unfortunately for me, we had to part last night because we had work in the morning.
I was near in tears lol. This is going to sound dramatic as hell, but I've spent the last few hours at work being totally miserable that I'm not with Beth. It's like when you're in high school and you get your first boyfriend/girlfriend and you can't stand to be apart from each other.
But you don't want sappy love stories, you're here for the drama. Well, me and Beth made it Instagram official on Sunday, and apparently Pam saw it on her sister's profile. She texted Beth on Sunday night, "how do you know OP?"
She said, "Bob introduced us". Pam only replied with, "I knew this would happen". We figured that might mean trouble down the road, but we don't care, Pam can be as mad as she wants.
This morning, I actually went up to Bob and thanked him for introducing me to Beth. He explained that he and Pam had a huge fight over him introducing us. He said he didn't care about it though, it was worth it just to get us together and was a "big FU" to Pam. I told him I'd buy him a round as a thank you, but he said don't worry about it, and that it was the least he could do.
So that's it for this update. I'd like to hope that this is the end, but Pam seems pretty upset with us being together. Either way, I'm just so happy with Beth, she's a once in a lifetime kind of person. And rest assured I'll update if anything further happens. Peace and love.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's fifth and allegedly final update:
Corfiz74
Great update, and I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for Pam's tantrum when she found out. Somehow, I don't think she and Bob are gonna last...
intrepid-teacher
Honestly, the moment OOP ends up with a hot date is the moment I stop believing even the most plausible story. (Not saying this one IS the most plausible, but y'know.)
CharlotteLucasOP
What a tidy resolution with Hallmark-movie levels of detail. (Apart from the open acknowledgement that people hook up.)
Acid_Fetish_Toy
I have no idea what apple cider doughnuts are, but this has been a tremendous advertisement for them.
atleastitsnotgoofy
This thing will end with Pam not being invited to Beth and OP’s wedding.
The OP again responded:
G1Gestalt
Seems like Pam is on track to having a whole new wedding of her own, what with the impending divorce and all.