'Sister-in-law’s meltdown at my wedding: ripped dress, arguments, and a lot of regret.'
"Sister-in-law’s meltdown at my wedding: ripped dress, arguments, and a lot of regret."
New_Challenge6131
Let me give you some context first:
I'm a 30-year-old woman who met my now-husband (33M) online eight years ago. I moved to his city, and we’ve since built a house together. During the pandemic, he proposed, and we started planning our wedding.
My husband’s parents live in the same city, and he has a sister (36F) who used to live 30 minutes away with her husband and child. My relationship with my sister-in-law has always been tricky. I usually bite my tongue and try to avoid conflict.
A bit of backstory about her: She and her husband had a house, but he was constantly unemployed, spending all his time playing video games. She managed the household, worked, and cared for their child alone. Everyone supported her.
My now-husband, her brother, did their entire garden, and their parents paid for their house mortgage because they couldn’t keep up with their finances. It was always odd. They couldn’t afford a new roof but bought a fully decked-out electric car. They couldn’t pay their mortgage but went on a three-week vacation.
About 1.5 years ago, her marriage fell apart, and the divorce was rough. We all supported her and helped with everything, including her son. She now lives in her own apartment, still in the same city as us and her parents.
Now, onto the wedding drama:
We got married four weeks ago. Thanks to COVID, we had plenty of time to plan the big day. Since I hate being the center of attention, we meticulously planned every detail to help me feel more comfortable. My now-husband chose his sister to be his best man.
The day of the wedding:
I booked a hair and makeup appointment for myself, my sister-in-law (36F), and my mother-in-law (62F). My family, who came from out of town, arranged their own styling.
When I arrived at the salon, my sister-in-law was already getting her hair and makeup done—in the exact style I had chosen for myself. I had shared my look with her weeks earlier, hoping to feel more confident on the big day.
Seeing her copy my style made me feel incredibly insecure. The stylist then tried four different hairstyles on me, none of which I liked. In the end, I had to settle for the fourth one because we ran out of time.
Feeling like a white ball with a terrible hairstyle, I quickly got into my dress and headed to the ceremony. I only saw my family when I walked down the aisle since they were coming from out of town, and I didn’t even see my maid of honor—my sister—until an hour before the wedding.
That was part of the plan, as I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal since everything was carefully scheduled. The ceremony went off beautifully. We had a gorgeous vineyard setting, the weather was perfect, and everyone had fun. I even managed to push through my insecurities and enjoy parts of the day.
Then things took a turn:
Hours later, I noticed my sister-in-law getting increasingly drunk. She was dancing alone across the dance floor, telling everyone about her failed marriage.
At one point, while stumbling around, she stepped on my wedding dress, and it ripped. I had to use five safety pins to hold it together for the rest of the night. Later, I noticed one of the staff rushing to grab cleaning supplies because my sister-in-law had vomited in one of the hallways. I thought nothing of it at first—just drunk behavior.
But it got worse. A while later, my now-husband informed me that his sister was sitting in the hallway with their mother, crying like a child in her mother's arms. All our guests could see it. My husband and I decided it would be best to send her home in a taxi.
When my husband told his sister we called a taxi for her, she yelled, “f## off, leave me alone!” As the taxi arrived, we asked my father-in-law to help get her in. He did, clearly embarrassed by the situation.
A loud argument broke out right on the dance floor between my in-laws. My father-in-law was furious, saying, "This is not about her for once; it's about her brother today," and he insisted my mother-in-law stay.
She stayed but then spent the rest of the night telling every guest she spoke to about her daughter’s heartbreak and how her emotions resurfaced at our wedding. It was a total mood killer. The wedding quickly fizzled out after that, and we even had time to clean everything up ourselves.
Now, four weeks later:
I look back on the wedding with mixed feelings. It was a beautiful event with great food, and almost everyone had a good time. But the problem is, what most guests remember from the last couple of hours is the drama.
Since the wedding, we haven’t spoken to my sister-in-law or my in-laws. Honestly, with all the mixed feelings I have, I’m okay with that. My husband is pretty angry with his family.
As parts for my family and friends, who didn’t know them before, they now have plenty to talk about, and I keep getting reminded of the situation as people constantly ask me about them.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Original_Barnacle359
My goodness, she's nearly 40, is she really that incapable of holding herself together? Your FIL was absolutely right, and it's super gross that she couldn't put it away long enough to be happy for her little brother on his wedding day.
No wonder she's hiding away. As Charlotte would say: AREN'T YOU EMMBARRRASSSSED?!?!? her not you) I'm sorry she behaved so poorly at your wedding, but congratulations all the same🎉🎉
angelicak92
She ruined your wedding. How can that ever be forgiven? NTA.
Fallout4Addict
99% of the weddings I've attended/ worked at theirs someone acting a fool. Yes, your guests will remember, but that's not what they will take away from your wedding day. She's just a footnote of a sad jealous woman.
DawninWis
OP, I’m so glad your FIL stood up for you and your husband. He spoke the truth. As someone said earlier, ppl will remember how beautiful your wedding was with a small side note about the drunk misbehaving SIL.
There’s always one of these ppl at a wedding. Give it time for the drama to cool down and you’ll be fine with your in-laws again. Four weeks is still relatively fresh. Time will chill this drama down. Congrats on your marriage! ❤️
alicat777777
For some reason, weddings tend to bring out the good the bad and the ugly. She embarrassed herself, not you. Don’t even think about it. She’s a wreck and now everybody knows it.
This stuff happens at weddings all the time and trust me, no one is thinking anything differently about your wedding than all the other weddings they’ve seen this kind of stuff happened.