Man is only relative not invited to brother's wedding; turns family against him. AITA?
"AITA for ‘turning’ the family against one of my brothers because he doesn’t want me at his wedding?"
Ordinary_Reserve_949
I’m (19) the youngest in the family and i have 5 older brothers. There is a big age difference between my brothers, and I. We’ve never been close but I get along with 3 out of my 5 brothers.
I don’t know why the 2 don’t like me, they just don’t. One of them, who I’ll call Levi, would verbally abuse me every chance he got (I was 15, and he was 25), I needed, and still am in therapy. He stopped but blamed it all on his struggles.
He hasn’t apologized, and clearly still hates me. The other who I’ll call Zane made it clear he wants nothing to do with me. He hasn’t said anything but he acts different every time i’m around him.
Neither of them have gone to any of my birthdays, sports events, or even my graduation. The graduation part was a big deal in my family, but my parents said they don’t have to be in my life if they don’t want to. Everyone eventually forgot about it.
So here's the problem: Zane is getting married soon. Everyone in the family is invited but me. I want to go to his wedding. I don’t hate Zane, and I’d like to get closer to him one day.
So I asked him why I wasn’t invited, which he ignored. I’ll admit I kept bothering him on why I wasn’t invited, and why he hated me so much. I guess I made him snap because he sent me a bunch of hateful messages.
I was upset, and talked to a friend, and she told me I should talk to my brothers. So I did, and showed them the texts. Levi sided with Zane, however the other 3 aren’t happy and they're thinking of not attending the wedding.
Zane is upset at this, and he called me saying I was trying to ruin his wedding, turn his brothers against him, and that I can’t accept rejection. My parents aren’t happy with Zane, but don’t think my brothers should withdraw from the wedding. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
lihzee
There has to be missing info here. This doesn't make any sense. INFO, OP?
Purplefox71
There has to be a lot missing in this story. Also he doesn't want OP but OP is hellbent to go no matter what. Who does that, just recognize when you are not wanted and deal with it. Perhaps this pushiness is one of the reasons OP is not liked?
pigeon888
Info: why do you think Zane doesn't like you or want you at his wedding? I have a hard time buying the,"I don't know why they don't like me" line.
cyrfuckedmymum
From what he said Zane was indifferent to him but not mean. being left out of a family function sucks. Okay it's Zane's wedding but most guests spend the massive majority of their time at a wedding with the other guests which is all people he knows/likes.
It would feel horrible to be left out of a wedding where every single person in the family is gathered except you. NTA to want to go and very sh*tty to deliberately leave him out.
JackedLilJill
YTA. I’m going with this because you left out a lot of pertinent info that a lot of people are asking for, but it’s like you are deliberately avoiding why they don’t like you. There is absolutely NO WAY you have no idea, or why your mom would side with Zane. This is a sh*t show.
clearheaded01
NTA. Zane is a dick - that's why your brothers aren't going. I do get the feeling that either your parents or your brothers know the real reason Zane hates you... Last post with these same vibes ended when the one in your shoes learned she was the result of an affair... Not saying that's the case here, just seems odd he hates you, and your parents just accept this.
Miserable-Arm-6797
I agree. And unfortunately, some families have a scapegoat child & the parents encourage it.