Wedding DJ interrupts proposal on the dance floor, 'it's not appropriate;' AITA?
There are a few sworn etiquette rules when it comes to weddings and it's best to avoid them unless you're trying to be permanently shamed in the family group chat...
Don't wear white, don't chug tequila shots at the open bar and give an R-rated toast about what went down with the groom in college, and don't do anything that would drawn attention away from the couple getting married.
Unfortunately, many people blatantly ignore these rules regularly and decide weddings are the time for proposals, pregnancy announcements, and in-laws in white lace gowns. So, when a conflicted wedding DJ proposed a proposal-related problem to the moral compass of the internet, people were ready to weigh in.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for ruining a proposal at a wedding?
So, I (27m) am a part-time DJ. I mostly DJ for just family and friends I’m not really a professional, just do it for a little side cash from time to time.
Last weekend I got invited to DJ on the cheap at a wedding for a friend of a friend. At the wedding while everyone was on the dance floor one of the guests we’ll call him “Kevin” approached me and asked if I could play the song “Golden Hour.'
It was an odd request because at this time all the guests were literally hoping around and dancing but I was told to take all requests so did it anyways. When I started playing it the dance floor started to clear up and then Kevin invited a woman onto the dance floor they started slow dancing for a bit, a few people joined them (including the bride and groom).
Then at that one part of the song Kevin got down on one knee and I knew right away that he was going to propose. I didn’t think it was right especially because they were in the middle of the dance floor with all eyes on them and I kinda felt like if this happened I would take the fault because I was the one to put on a romantic song out of nowhere.
So instead of letting that happened as soon as he pulled out the box I started to play “BOOGIE” and turned up the volume instead. After that Kevin just side-eyed me and got up and everyone else sat down. After that nothing else really happened and the tension was very thick.
After the wedding no one really brought it up and I obviously thought that I wasn’t the a*shole and the friend that was friends with the bride said that I wasn’t. But then a bunch of the family started to message me.
It turns out that Kevin was the bride’s brother and the family kept asking why I did that, I told them that proposing at someone else’s wedding was not appropriate.
They told me that I shouldn’t have an opinion because I was just the DJ and now Kevin got publicly humiliated because some people knew this was going to happen so they were taking videos and live on Instagram so all their friends could see.
I responded with “that would’ve made the newly weds hurt” but then they came back with “You shouldn’t have assumed that the bride didn’t want that.”
That part got me thinking because I was mostly communicating with the bride about arrangements and she was very chatty before the wedding but after that she kept give my me one word answers.
So I assume she is mad at me but then again when she payed me she almost doubled the amount for what I was asking for with a generous tip? So im not sure if the bride actually knew I think she would’ve told me. But AITA for just assuming?
Later, he edited the post to include:
A lot of people said to ask the bride and groom I did but like I said their answers were vague. Bride said it was fine but it was probably just to spare my feelings. I didn’t want to push because she clearly had a lot on her mind in the moment.
At least the people watching on Instagram live must've thought this awkward scene are hilarious, right? Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this wedding drama. Here's what people had to say:
KronkLaSworda said:
If the bride knew this was going to happen and approved it, she should have told you before hand. Going with NTA. Your heart was in the right place. Protect the bride and groom's day.
keepingupwithcats said:
What if the bride was put on the spot and she's secretly happy you messed it up? Takes the pressure off of her and let's her have her own wedding? I think your bank account agrees, NTA.
extinct_diplodocus said:
NTA. A bunch of family may have known about this, but that doesn't make it okay. They planned to mess up the bride's day by hijacking the wedding for their own purposes. It was clearly not OK with the bride. The bride either didn't know or was coerced into allowing it.
The double-pay and the generous tip shows how happy it made her that you messed up this plot. To those who wanted to hijack the occasion, you're the villain. To the bride, you're the hero, even if she can't publicly acknowledge it. Rest assured, you did good.
Fun_Milk_4560 said:
NTA. You didn't have time to ask the bride since he was going for it right then and there.
itwasntjack said:
NTA. If the bride was in on it and okay with it then someone should have let you know.