Woman baffled by 'friend's' attempts to belittle her and ruin her wedding. AITA?
"The Disrespectful Wedding Guest from Hell..."
silent_serendipity
Ok. So my SO and I got married recently. We have a few other couples that we are close friends with (we get together a few times a year) and so, of course they were invited to the wedding. One of the couples in particular we have known for years. We will call them Alice and Dave.
My SO is closer with Dave but I have also known Alice for many years and have always gotten along with her. We were the first couple to get engaged out of the group and when we told them what venue we booked, Alice responded that she had heard that "the food there sucked".
Flash forward to my bridal shower...we had sent out invitations months in advance. The RSVP date came and went and Alice was the ONLY person that did not respond.
A few days later, my SO gets a Facebook invite to a party she is throwing that is...THE SAME DAY AS MY SHOWER. Now I get that people have other things going on in life but she also invited other people that had RSVPed to be attending my shower.
If you had other plans, just say that you can't make it. No issue with that. My SO reached out to her to confirm that we would not be attending the party as it was, in fact, the same day as my bridal shower.
He also asked if she had received the invite to the shower because we honestly thought maybe it never made it to her. Her response was that she had received the invitation months ago and had misplaced it.
She explained that they had so many weddings to attend this year and it got lost in the pile. She told my SO that she wouldn't be able to make it but was, "so sorry".
A few months later, I see Alice post a long Facebook rant about how "tacky" bridal showers are. My shower had passed and now our RSVP date for the actual wedding was upon us. Yet again, the ONLY couple out of 150 people that did not RSVP was Alice and Dave.
Our venue needed the headcount and dinner choices so my SO reached out to Dave this time. Dave just told my SO over the phone what they wanted to eat and that they would be attending. He had assumed Alice had sent in the RSVP.
Finally, it's the day of the wedding. Honestly, I want to preface this by saying I didn't care what people wore to my wedding as long as they were comfortable and had fun...HOWEVER...I could not help but notice Alice showing up to my wedding in the EXACT same dress that I wore to my bridal shower.
Not only was it the same dress, it was also a solid, extremely pale blush/off white color. As Alice is someone who is very opinionated about fashion and etiquette, I couldn't help but feel that it was intentional. I would never say something or tell someone what to wear, ever, but it was just another instance where she was the only guest that did this.
The wedding continued and Alice and Dave left early while the other couples in our friends group stayed throughout the evening. The final straw was the wedding gift, which was an unsigned check that we could not cash.
My SO had to yet again reach out to Alice and let her know. She apologized and had us mail it back to her to sign. I try not to assume that things are done intentionally but Alice was continuously the ONLY wedding guest that we had any issues with. I don't know what to think, I'm honestly just glad it's over.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
mrseddievedder
She sounds completely jealous that you are the first to get married. Sounds like she can’t watch you being the center of attention. Hence the shower no show …”I’ll throw a party of my own”, and the white dress.
maneki_neko89
I was immediately calling “Bull#@*t!!” when she said she “misplaced” the bridal shower invite. She knew what she was doing, esp in showing up to OP’s wedding in the exact same dress as the OP wore at her shower. She’s furiously following behind OP, fuming that she wasn’t in the spotlight first. What a way to think and live…
Muted-Appeal-823
Did she ever sign the check and get it back to you?
The OP responded here:
silent_serendipity
Initially my husband offered to just sign it for her (apparently you can do that) but she requested that we mail it back to her to sign. We did and she did send it back.
Muted-Appeal-823
Based upon everything else I really was assuming that she would conveniently forget to send it back. Definitely not people you should consider friends. At least everything else with your wedding seemed to go smoothly. And you ended up with a good story to tell! 😄
littleredhairgirl
Since Alice didn't attend the shower I'm just imagining her scouring social media to see what OP wore and then going on a frantic dress hunt.
The OP again responded:
silent_serendipity
If it was just the dress I wouldn't have given it a second thought but it was the whole series of events that was making me question if it was all just coincidence. To be fair, the dress could be found at Macy's in any mall so the likelihood of someone else having it was high. It is just not a dress that is appropriate to wear to someones wedding.
Successful_Act65
Alice seems to be very passive aggressive about some real or imagined slight.