Woman asks dad to help pay for 4th wedding; he says, 'maybe for the next one.'

When a father posted his dilemma to Reddit, the internet was more than happy to weigh in. You decide for yourself who the A-hole is...

'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for telling my daughter I will help her out with her next wedding?'

My (M57) daughter (32) has been divorced thrice already. She got married at 25 to the love of her life. I gave her $15,000 as help for the wedding. Marriage lasted 3 years.

She married the love of her life when she was 30. I gave her $5,000 for a much smaller more intimate wedding. Marriage lasted one year. She married the guy that got her pregnant while she was married to number two. They divorced before my grandson was one.

She has met the love of her life and need money for the wedding.

I said I would help her with the next one.

Now she is crying to her mother calling me an a-hole for not believing in her future. I have managed to stay married for 33 years. It's not that difficult. My wife wants me to make peace by giving her some money. But I think it's a waste.

Your call. Am I the a-hole for my bad attitude towards my daughter's relationship?

What do you think? Is Dad being cheap and rude, or is his daughter asking for way too much... too many times?

Reddit ruled mostly NTA (not the a-hole) on this one.

grid101 says:

NTA - was your comment callous? A bit, but that doesn't make it untrue. $20k over three weddings is fine. She can pay her own way now.

Now_Villager shares:

Your daughter's marriage success seems to be in direct proportion to the amount you contribute to her weddings, where 1 year = 5K. If I'm right, for her next marriage to last as long as your own, you need to invest 165,000. NTA. Thank me later.

RutzButtercup thinks:

I am gonna say you are halfway the a-hole. Your refusal to help is ok, your delivery was unnecessarily callous.

EquivalentTwo1 comments:

NTA. It doesn't cost a lot to get married. It's whatever the license fee is. It costs more to throw a party. You can give her nothing, you can give her the license fee as a wedding present, or you can let her know you'll chip in for her 10 year anniversary party.

Responsible_Brain852 writes:

NTA, the etiquette of parents paying for wedding were created before people could decide to marry 3 times in ten years. Don’t go bankrupt over this. Just let her know what you support her relationship if it makes her happy, but you gave enough for her weddings this far and your money isn’t unlimited.

But JohnnyFootballStar sees it another way:

YTA (You're the A-hole). This is the kind of thing that people on the internet will applaud because they don't care about anybody's feelings and just love sick burns. I bet most people in your actual real world life would find your comment to be cruel and callous. You don't have to give money, but they way you shot her down was mean, considering she is someone you allegedly care about.

And OP reponded!

I wasn't thinking when I said it. I was getting my grandson ready for a walk. He lives with us after his mother's third divorce. She couldn't handle being a single mother. So now I'm 57 and I'm raising my third child because my second child won't. I'm a little salty.

Whoa! That's some important info there.

snikrz70 asks:

Why is her son not living with his mother? I'm sorry if you don't feel comfortable answering that and I understand. But that would be a bigger point of contention if I were in your shoes than her fourth wedding that she expects her parents to subsidize.

OP tragically replies:

Because she couldn't handle being a single mom.

Well, there you have it!

Get married as much as you like, as long as you're footing the bill.