'AITA for asking my fiancée to not wear his brother's necklace on our wedding day?'
"AITA for asking my fiancée to not wear his brother's necklace on our wedding day?"
Note: me and my fiance get along really well with everything else, but we've just had a disagreement with this.
He wears his late brother's wedding ring on his right hand, and his brother's necklace. I can get behind the ring because you don't really notice it as much, but the necklace is more noticeable. It has his brother's, brother's wife and their daughter's initials engraved on it.
I asked him if he'd take off the necklace just for our wedding day. I also have a necklace I got as gift from my mom that I'm not wearing on the day because it doesn't go with my dress. It's just one day and he can wear the ring if he wants. My fiance refused and said it's his brother's and he's going to wear it.
Readers had some very strong opinions on this wedding day argument.
ugsekaybat writes:
Please, OP, don’t marry him. He doesn’t deserve you. He deserves someone who isn’t insecure about his dead brother and his dead brother’s family, loving man that he is. YTA.
justrelsstuff writes:
N-T-A for asking but YTA for not accepting his answer. It's the only way his brother will be in the wedding photos. Let him have this. Furthermore, if your mother's gift was important emotionally, you should have picked a dress that did go with it.
I am sure you are delightful in real life, but to say no to those two necklaces because of an aesthetic would be heartless and shallow.
MrsDirtbag writes:
YTA. My boyfriend has a necklace that an ex-girlfriend gave him during their relationship. He and I have been together nearly 8 years so their relationship is long over. He likes the necklace and wears it everyday.
One day it got caught on something and the link attached to the clasp pulled open. He got the necklace but the clasp came off and he couldn’t find it. Since he couldn’t wear it he left it on the bathroom sink.
So the next day while he was at work I got an extra clasp from my jewelry box and repaired it for him. Because I love him and it’s something that is important to him. Love is not petty, it’s not selfish. I have no reason to feel threatened by a necklace, and you shouldn’t either.
kastori444 writes:
Nta. While I get it that when you love sb so much you want a piece of them to remember and grieve them , however… it’s just one day . It’s not the end of the world for one day.
Also if you love a dead person so much isn’t a prayer for them and their soul gonna be better. I mean the necklace may be a consolation to your brother but the prayer would be a consolation for the brother who is in the grave.
I don’t get everyone here demonizing op and calling her jealous and claiming she is jealous of a dead person. She asked him to Remove a necklace for one day not a kidney.
jacksonlove3 writes:
YTA. This obviously means a great deal to him and they can’t be there in person. It was ok to ask him, but he said no…leave it alone. You’re focusing more on image and aesthetic than the true meaning of it and why he wears it. Why does it bother you so much that his SIL and daughters initials are engraved on it for your wedding?
necklaceaita OP responded:
If it was just his brother I'd kind of get it. But it's also the brother's wife and their kid's initials on it. So essentially, he'd be wearing a whole other's family's name on our wedding day.
I get that it's important to him, but I think combined with the ring it's too much. It's our wedding day. He's already going to wear his brother's wedding ring, and he also wants to wear a necklace with brother's family's names on it.