17 bartenders share the stereotypes they always associate with your drink order.
While most bartenders are happy to make you whatever weird alcoholic concotions you can think of, there are some orders that wave a blazing, blaring red flag (looking at you, Long Island Iced Teas)...
So, when a Reddit user asked, 'what are your drink order stereotypes for different types of people?' people who work in the service industry were ready to share the assumptions they make about customers based on what they order. Sorry, espresso martini people but you're all unhinged wildcards...
1.
When I waitressed I assumed people who drank martinis were functional alcoholics. - [deleted]
2.
Vodka soda with a spalsh of cranberry... dubbed 'the white girl' - staapl
3.
Scotch: Older guys, or younger in higher positions, who think they're hot shit. I personally love some scotch. If he's older or looks weathered, on the rocks or neat.
Vodka or Gin and sweet sh*t: Every woman who dresses like she's out to impress. I personally ask them their name; then I mix vodka with OJ, Cran and lime, maybe garnished with a mint. I name the drink after them and watch the tips roll in. Also an incredibly easy way to pick up women as a bartender.
Rye and Coke/Ginger: Cowboys. That and bud light, Corona or Kokanee. - [deleted]
4.
Vodka Soda -Girl on diet
Vodka Soda with splash of [anything]-Annoying girl on diet
Vodka Martini-You're boring, but you don't know it yet
Dirty Martini-You will probably put anything in your mouth
Gin and Tonic, Negroni, Boulevardier, Aperol Spritz-You've got some class
Gin Martini-Eh, you're all right
Manhattan-You are either a businessman, or you watch too much Mad Men
Tequila Sunrise, Midori Sour, Sex on the Beach, Fuzzy Navel-Let me check your ID again...
Anything with the word 'Bomb'-Get out. Now.
Sazerac, Vieux Carre, Brooklyn, Toronto-Respect, especially if you can tell the difference between a good one and a bad one
Jack Rose, Aviation, Scofflaw, Last Word-You're a hipster, but I'm into it - theguyonyourleft
5.
Vodka martini: my wife won't f*ck me anymore
Cosmo: I might let my husband f*ck me tonight
Long Island Iced Tea: watch out, I'm 17!
Negroni: My tastes in cocktails are as complex as my record collection and facial hair
Bud Light et al: I can still drive after drinking a case!
IPA: This beer is literally the most interesting thing about me.
Pricey but obscure bottle of red: I know nothing about anything but wine.
Vodka soda: Ew, carbs!
Peaty single malt scotch: I'm insecure about my masculinity
Old Fashioned: I wish it was still cool to order a jack and coke.
Prosecco: I definitely take it in the pooper
White Russian: it wasn't my idea to go out tonight
Espresso Martini: I'm not cool enough for c*caine - NewYooserMan
6.
I was a bartender for a good while at a craft cocktail bar and these are my observations based on age. There are always exceptions of course.
Older men: whiskey/scotch or Martinis, sometimes beer or wine
Older Woman: mostly wine and vodka (lemon was always a favorite flavor)
Younger man: mostly beer, whiskey is the second choice and is usually tied with vodka
Younger woman: White wine and fruity drinks
Older man: red wines and gins. Though they were always sort of a wild card honestly.
Older Woman, *Younger Man, *Younger Woman: White Wines, *Fruity Drinks
Most people who came in who were foreign tended to order off the drink menu which was extensive so I won't get into that.
College kids almost always ordered cheap and never tipped appropriately. - [deleted]
7.
Guinness: You pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day. Most of the Irish customers we had drank ale, lager or whiskey. Although the Guinness in my pub was f*cking awful. - CitizenWolfie
8.
Cocktails: 40-something man-hungry ladies on a girls' night out. For clarity, I'm referring to cocktails that are brightly coloured, have girly names and can be bought by the pitcher. - CitizenWolfie
9.
Women with Bob haircuts. They come in 5 min before closing. Demands to be served. Drinks 1 Mic Ultra, stays an hour, doesn't tip. - thatxmattxguyx
10.
The college girl who needs to unwind because 'ugh tonight I am NOT gonna think': Jaeger Shots all night
The 18-22 year old who got sick of drinking straight up vodka from the bottle: Jameson, 2 ice
The woman fighting time, refusing to grow old: Any drink that's tequila-based
The guy planning on trying his luck with said woman: Any drink
The 65+ year old man: wine. MUST light something, be it a cigar or a cigarillo or a cigarette.
The woman, 35+ years younger, accompanying that man: Gin. Or vodka. Or both. Usually garnished with very, very little.
The 'I just got off work and really just need a place to f*ck around on my iphone at the bar': Local beer
The pub cook: Whiskey Coke - alldayerrdaym8
11.
Construction workers drink beer and only beer. Always. - [deleted]
12.
When I worked as a bartender we had a drink called woo-woo, it was the basic girl drink. Vodka, peach schnapps, and cranberry juice. Dance floor would within half an hour of a drink order get a 'woo!' it's when we knew the drink had hit.
Bros who ordered vodka battery would be a f*cking nightmare to deal with (female here) and I'd nod to the bouncer if a bro was on his 3rd.
Straight whiskey 50/50 nice people/f*cking pretentious assholes who would gatekeep me on how much I knew about it. Let me say that anyone is free to ask the bartender if she knows about certain drinks to not make bad drink choices, but these people knew everything and would just stand there asking and quizzing me to come off as clever/refined.
absinthe: 50/50 I wrote a poem once and I'm really into wearing a six pence/WOO SHOTS - [deleted]
13.
As a current bartender I think people think too much in the stereotypes. I've had guys say to me 'I know this is girly, but I want a vodka cranberry' or another time when a group of guys come in and all of them order some fancy craft beer and the 1 guy in the group just wants a bud light, but gets made fun of.
'Order a good beer man.' I don't really give a sh*t what you order, nor am I judging you for it. All I ask is once you've had a few, stay cool, calm, nice, tip me, and most of all, get home safely. - WhiskeyFruitLoops
14.
Former bartender here.
Young girls will generally order whatever is trendy in your particular bar.
Cops drink hard liquor in large amounts before getting in their cars and driving home.
Rednecks think drink orders define their masculinity.
Hipsters will drink anything new that you show them. - NoFunHere
15.
My bar was in an opera house, so the clientele was generally rich and 65+, so not a traditional 'bar'.
VERY old rich guys who had season tickets: Something really sweet like a snifter of dessert liquor or port
Old rich guys who had season tickets: Scotch or bourbon neat
Old rich guys wives: Chardonnay
50-65 year olds: Pinot Noir
35-50 year olds: Sam Adams Seasonal
30-35 year olds: Sam Boston Lager
22-35 year olds at a corporate event: gin and tonic with lime - erikarew
16.
I bartended in college and a couple years after. Only trashy women who don't tip order white zin. - soapdonkey
17.
I was at a wedding last weekend and they ran out of rosé at the rehearsal dinner and again the next night at the reception. The bartender was like 'yeah, a lot of white girls at this party.' - yellowstuff