Employee tells boss she's pregnant, boss responds by saying 'okay,' she gets upset.
Pregnancy is a big deal and can massively affect someone's experience in the workplace. Some workplaces are super supportive and have great policies in place, while others will dock your pay or even fire you for having a child. With this context in mind, it's hardly surprising pregnant women might feel nervous announcing a pregnancy to a boss.
On the other hand, an employer is likely to have a very full plate, so their reaction to a pregnancy announcement might be less loaded than it seems to the pregnant woman.
To this very point, in a popular post on the AITA subreddit, an employer asked if they were wrong for not feeling strongly about their employee's pregnancy.
They wrote:
AITA for not caring about one of my employee's pregnancy?
So I had an employee come to me to let me know she was pregnant. My response, “okay.” She was taken back from my lack of interest and enthusiasm, and fellow employees also seemed bothered by my response. So AITA bc I didn’t ask more questions, or congratulate the person on the pregnancy. I wasn’t rude, or mean… just very matter-the-fact.
EDIT: To clarify my management mindset…I care more about my people than the company's bottom line. I believe work is not the most important thing in the world. I made and will make all the proper accommodations when the time comes. I aim to have the employees stress free and to spend the minimal time here while providing the maximum compensation.
People were very opinionated about this one.
Outrageously_Penguin wrote:
YTA. Is this your first time talking to other people, or something?
‘Congratulations’ isn’t hard to say. And there are also relevant work-related questions that need to be asked.
Stan_of_Cleeves wrote:
Yikes.
You should have said “thank you for letting me know.” And maybe “wishing you the best.” Basic social skills are important in life. YTA…but mostly to yourself. If you can’t communicate in a normal human way, you’re in for a difficult time.
GlesgaD2018 wrote:
Thanks for letting me know. Keep me informed about any health issues in case we need to make any supportive changes, and a due date, when you have it.”
YTA.
HarveySnake wrote:
A regular master of motivation aren't ya? As a manager you are supposed to show some emotions when an employee comes to you with this kind of stuff. Your lack of a meaningful reaction has been noted by your subordinates and it doesn't look good. People quit bad bosses and right now you're coming across as one.
You also failed to mention how you gathered the info needed to plan for her eventual maternity leave. I think your employer may have promoted you beyond your competency. YTA.
arenlomare wrote:
NAH...I was actually surprised at the number of y/t/a in the comments. It's not a normal reply but I don't think there was any intent to be dismissive or rude, so I can't call you an @$$hole. Nor can I blame them for their reactions. Some interactions just are awkward like this and you learn from them and change behavior going forward. That's all there is to it.
After receiving lots of feedback, OP jumped back on.
EDIT2: I’m shocked by the number of people that seem to have been able to figure out every single aspect of my life and know about every interaction I’ve ever had from this one example.
A few clarifications, I didn’t actively think “I’m not gonna say ‘congrats,’” I wasn’t actively trying to be an @$$hole, if I were then I wouldn’t have posted on here. Also, I understand how what I did could be interpreted as a heartless or mean thing, so I can see that POV.
EDIT3: Just because I have difficulty showing empathy it doesn’t mean I don’t have empathy. Also, this employees general tone is a but on edge, and when she presented this information she didn’t seem particularly excited or eager, but maybe she was just being professional too. And this is her third or fourth child.
Clearly, people are passionately divided, with more leaning towards YTA. What do you think about OP's response?