'AITA for choosing to take my boss to a charity event over my fiancée?'
"AITA for choosing to take my boss to a charity event over my fiancée?"
I [25m] started working at my company about a year ago. My boss [48m] and I really hit it off. So much so, that he frequently visits and sleeps on the couch in our basement.
My fiancee [23f] and I have lived together for several years now, and just recently built a house together, so it has plenty of space and she doesn’t mind him staying in the basement, but they don’t interact much.
Months ago I purchased tickets for a local charity event that I had taken my fiancee to last year. I did not indicate I would take her this year, but she assumed the 2nd ticket was for her.
Last evening we had a difficult code deployment that my boss and I were up quite late for. After its success we had a nightcap and I mentioned the charity event this weekend and he mentioned he had always wanted to go, so I invited him to go under my 2nd ticket.
He was elated, and I thought also this would be good for my career progression as charity is a cornerstone of the company we work for.
I told my fiancee this morning that my boss had never been to the event and was excited to go. She said that we would all have a great time as last year was so much fun. I then told her that there were only 2 tickets and she wasn’t going.
Needless to say she was pissed. Tickets are sold out already, so I can’t just buy another. I told her that she needs to be considerate of my career progression and that I can always take her again next year.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
_mmiggs_ asks:
INFO. Do you have a romantic interest in your boss? Because you're acting like you do.
MiserableTour1974 OP responded:
absolutely not. i am only concerned for my career.
flyingknives4love writes:
Well that's not what it looks like. If I was your coworker, I would 100% assume you two are in some kind of relationship.
MiserableTour1974 OP responded:
that would be weird as he stays at most people’s houses since he lives far away and some give him equivalent gifts.
he stays at my house a little more because we get along well and my guest accommodations is better than most. most people don’t have a full finished basement with a bar for him to stay.
Irish_Lady84 writes:
Your boss should not be sleeping on an employee's couch at all........how do you not understand how inappropriate that is
MiserableTour1974 OP responded:
i am understanding that now. and because others were allowing him to stay i did not think it was weird.
nicholaxxx writes:
He's also drinking your alcohol while staying at your house? Is he at least reimbursing your for the trouble? He's your superior at work, not your friend.
MiserableTour1974 OP responded:
he does get into it some when he is down there, but i don’t think too much. we have a full liquor shelf with lots of bourbon, so honestly it would take a while to realize if he is drinking a lot.
Irish_Lady84 writes:
Your whole relationship with your boss is weird as f$%k.........why the hell is he sleeping on the couch in your basement. You sure you don't have feelings for him??? YTA you should have at least discussed this with your gf
SubarcticFarmer writes:
OP, major YTA, you gave her ticket away but won't even dignify her with honesty about that and instead gaslight her that you never actually directly stated that it was for her. The correct response to your boss would have been 'let's try for another ticket and we can all go together.'
Your boss will likely be appalled as well if he ever finds out. Never mind that if you are that close, this does absolutely nothing to help your career. You won't get many chances of doing crap like this before you'll be using 'ex' a lot more.
MilkTax writes:
Thanks OP for answering questions, I know it’s hard to be getting a lot of hate at once. Sounds like you are seeing the error of your ways. Best of luck with your situation.
MiserableTour1974 OP responded:
that is kind of you, yes it is scary to me getting so much hate. i didn’t realize how weird the situation was because its my first real job