Man asks if he was wrong to tell coworker not to bring child to work Christmas party.
"AITA for telling my coworker not to bring her Child?"
I and my coworkers (mostly late 20 And early 30) are all without children. We decided to have early Christmas party for just for our department next week. We plan to go to a pub around 7 pm, get some beers, and so on.
We made a group chat and started to discuss where to go and what time... the regular. One of our coworkers is friends with another coworker on maternity leave, so they added her to the chat too. She was happy to come and told us she will attend with her son whom is currently 5 months.
I told her that I don't think it's good idea to take him with her since we're really probably gonna be loud and drinking, and he's gonna be crying, and it's also kinda late. She told me it's fine and that she is taking him everywhere with her, she even took him to her husband's conference where he has a presentation and he didn't cry much.
Others joined me and told her that it's not the best environment for a child, and if she does not have a babysitter we can change the time to amore suitable day. But she said she does not want to be separated from her baby and called us a*@oles. The only person who took her side was her friend. So are we the a**@oles ?
Edit: Nobody started the conversation without her or left her out. The girl who started the chat didn't have her phone number so the friend of hers added her. We intended to invite her all along.
Also I am on friendly terms with her. I like her. We are work friends I would say. Not hanging out outside of work, but before she gave birth we usually took lunches together and went to a few conferences together and it was fine and fun.
From the comments:
Stuff-Dangerous writes:
Yes and the condescending tone... Just Ew. We need to start normalizing having babies/children around and still have adult conversation. As if mother's can't. OP is quite rude.
snappie259 OP responded:
Why am I rude ? Because we (7 of us agreed we don't want the baby there) want to have adult party ? It's working party not a family party.
Defiant_Ingenuity_55 writes:
A little bit TA. Do you know the temperament of the 5 month old? I could take my kids anywhere at that age and my daughters baby is extremely pleasant in large and crowded places. Pubs have children in them all of the time and most I know don’t exclude kids until later in the night. You don’t want a baby around. OK.
But she hasn’t given up her life because she’s a mom. If you want to make sure she doesn’t bring a baby, you could make sure you go somewhere 21 and over. We don’t allow smoking inside here, so there is nothing here to hurt a baby.
snappie259 OP responded:
Every single time she brought the kid to visit us the baby was crying like crazy. And honestly I am not exactly kids person and I don't want to listen to it the whole evening.
Happy-Abrocoma8356 writes:
NTA for saying the baby shouldn’t come, because truly a pub is not a place for a 5 month old. But saying the baby shouldn’t com because “he’s gonna be crying” is weird to me. You don’t know the temperament of the baby, they could be totally ok in that environment, no need to assume all babies are the same.
snappie259 OP responded:
Every single time she came to visit us to work the baby was crying... so I assume noisy environment is not gonna be better than calm hospital. Also she is all the time giving us the baby to hold it and I really don't like it. I might be an ass because I don't like kids.
_ilmatar_ writes:
NTA. I can't believe she took her child to her husband's conference. He's not getting promoted. She is being selfish and making everything about her without listening to the wishes of others.
snappie259 OP responded:
It was a big one in auditorium for like 300 people and she was sitting in a back seat but i also think it's inappropriate.
mammaistired writes:
Nta. I hate when people want to drag their baby everywhere. Not everything is a kid event. Sometimes we want not-baby events.
and_you_were_there writes:
I always feel like an asshole when I have adult only events. I have two and sometimes I want to eat food when it’s hot and not worry about where I put my drink and actually have a conversation! Kids don’t have to go everywhere
mammaistired writes:
No. It's called self-care. It's called adult time. It's important for us to be not mom/dad and just us.
and_you_were_there writes:
We really need to tell each other this more often!