Restaurant manger tells wife to call him 'pilot'; she says 'you don't deserve it.'
'AITA for asking my wife to respect my title a pilot?'
I need the opinions of avgeeks and pilots on a matter involving my wife. I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS AND I NEED HELP. /srs
My wife and I (together for 5 years, married for 2, no kids) have an amazing, happy relationship. I can’t recall a single time we’ve ever argued to the point of a breakup or divorce. This issue, however, is causing me to reconsider the health of our relationship. Since my wife and I have been together, I have worked as a manager for a restaurant chain.
I am an extremely passionate aviation enthusiast in my free time. I have spent thousands of dollars on flight textbooks, sim gear, and even built my own a330 setup. I have never actually flown a plane or started flight training, but I have considered it for a long time. Even though my skills are not a career, I still consider myself as adept or possibly more knowledgeable than the average pilot.
That being said, here’s where the problem arises. My wife and I were invited to one of her male coworkers house for a barbecue. My wife is a senior software tech for a startup. She’s worked there since 2020, a lucky catch after she was laid off from her previous job.
It was my first time meeting many of her now-close coworkers since she had been working from home. I had assumed she’d talked about me before, but as we were cycling through introductions I became less sure. We make our way down the line to the host of the party, a new male hire that she has grown platonically close with.
We exchange casual conversation and Greg (host) asked what I do for a living. My wife chimes in with “He manages a [insert fast food chain], it certainly comes with some benefits (I’m assuming she’s referring to free food)”, in a voice that implied nothing was wrong with what she said. I very quickly corrected her and told him that I am a pilot.
My wife already knows how insecure I am about my job and how I’d much rather be introduced by my hobby. I’ve earned the title of pilot through my 500+ hours on and sim and thousands of dollars put into my craft. I think it is incredibly disrespectful for her not to acknowledge my skills and training.
Just because I don’t have the title of pilot on an overpriced piece of paper doesn’t mean I’m not a pilot.
I laughed it off with Greg, told him under my breath that my wife was often forgetful (which I’m sure he’s realized just from working with her). He seemed to brush it off casually. At this point, I’m fuming, but I don’t go much farther than exchanging some nasty glances at my wife for the rest of the night.
As we pack into the car to leave, the argument starts. She feels as if I don’t deserve my title as a Pilot because I’m not professional. I told her she is completely insensitive to the work i’ve done and she will never understand what it’s like to study so much. She’s currently on the couch as I type this. Am I really the asshole for asking to be respected?
Some people questioned if the post was real:
illdecidetomorrow writes:
This can’t be real. It doesn’t take a pilot (something that you are literally not) to tell that you’re a huge AH. The way you speak about your wife getting lucky with her job as if she didn’t also have to study is disgusting.
You even have the audacity to say her coworker probably realizes that she is forgetful when he obviously respects her, because they’re close. How arrogant of you to decide you know more than the average pilot when you aren’t even a pilot. What you did is LIE about your profession. Grow up.
videopro10 writes:
How could you read that and not recognize it was a troll
Substantial_Wheel999 OP responded:
I am not trolling /srs. I can show text proof of my wife and I’s argument. I just need advice from pilots and pilots only.
People piled on after that:
HenriettaHiggins writes:
I genuinely am glad his wife has a friend and isn’t totally isolated by this embarrassing fantasy behavior. I’m sure if they’re close she prepped Greg for how this was going to go.
WhoFearsDeath writes:
lol. YTA. You aren’t a “pilot”; you pilot remote controlled craft as a hobby.
fatsoratso1 writes:
This is the same logic my toddler uses when he puts on his dress up clothes and tells me he’s a pilot, or a firefighter, or Spider-Man.
Pleasant-Koala147 writes:
Having just come from my dance lessons, I’m going to start introducing myself as a dancer.
WhiteJadedButterfly writes:
I’m a professional race car driver (from playing too much mario kart), haha
Natural_Garbage7674 writes:
YTA. I work in aviation. I work with pilots in training all day. Even the nerdiest of avgeeks and aerosexuals, with thousands of dollars of sim equipment, suck so hard at flying when they start out.
There's even a phenomenon where those most desperate to fly often flunk out because they are unable to get over themselves for long enough to learn what they need and take much needed critical feedback (and you sound exactly like them).
Honestly? You sound like a massive tool. If you go around telling people you're a pilot and then they find out you've literally never piloted an aircraft? They're going to think you're actually insane.
If I was your wife I'd leave you. Imagine calling someone forgetful, belittling someone you should love, to explain that you are a pretend pilot. Your wife is going to have to explain to these people that she is married to someone delusional without taking a professional hit. Get professional help.