Woman tells guy she's 'not physically attracted' to him; he says she should have lied.

I 23f work and I have a co worker 25m who has made it very clear he is interested in me romantically. We’ve been working together since September, and our store is quite small so there are only 6 staff members in total, a lot of the time we work together.

At first I tried to let him down gently by just saying I was busy after work when he would ask or if he “jokingly” asked me what I look for in a man I would say I’m not really looking for anyone at all. Last week he decided to confess his attraction to me in case I hadn’t gotten the hint, and I told him I was flattered but as I had said I’m not looking for anyone at all.

Yesterday we worked together and it was just us two on shift.and at closing he basically confronted me and asked why I wasn’t into him, and I told him that truthfully I’m just not physically attracted to him and that’s the main reason. Which is mostly true, I don’t think he’s ugly but I’m just not attracted to him.

He took it very personally and actually got so upset he asked me to finish closing by myself which I did, however when I got home he texted me saying that I should’ve just lied instead of calling him ugly and he wants to talk to the manager about not working on the same shift as me since I insulted him esp since he’s opened up to me before about being insecure about his looks.

I do feel bad because it’s his insecurity, but when I let him down gently he didn’t let it go so I felt being honest was best. Now I’m conflicted on if being truthful was the best move or not.

Comments:

Emotional_Koala_ says:

NTA. He asked, you answered. You didn’t call him ugly: you can have zero attraction to people who everyone else finds conventionally handsome (Brad Pitt for me, I just don’t get the hype) and feel earth shattering lust for someone who looks like a wrinkled potato (Hugh Laurie, yum). He played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.

Dont139 says:

Aaaah finally someone agrees with me on Brad Pitt!!

UnfortunateDaring says:

NTA - go to your manager, he is harassing you and accusing you of it. Trying to have a relationship with a coworker is highly unethical and he should have stopped once you told him you were uninterested.

MsOstara says:

NTA, I’d send a text back. “I didn’t say you were ugly, I said I wasn’t attracted to you, and this text message is a shining example of why. When someone tells you ‘no’ to a date, stop asking them. Have enough respect for them to accept their no the first time.”

JimmiRustle says:

NTA - He’s misconstruing the conversation. I’d speak to your manager about being uncomfortable working with him because he seems to have a loose grasp on reality.