Man asks if he's wrong for pretending to be unemployed to test 'gold digger' GF.
How do you know if someone loves you for you, or if they're just after your money? Reddit user u/Head-Ad-7953 thought he would find out the answer to this question once and for all by testing his girlfriend's loyalty. He's been pretending to be unemployed for months to find out if she's more attracted to his wallet than his heart.
Now he's turning to the internet to ask if this lie makes him an a-hole boyfriend.
AITA (Am I The As*hole) for pretending to my girlfriend that I'm broke?
He writes:
We've been together for 2 years. I've always known that my girlfriend had an 'expensive taste.' It wasn't a real issue back when we were just getting started.
A couple of months ago, she dreamed of me proposing to her and she told me that she turned me down because 'the ring wasn't nice enough.' We both laughed it off, but deep inside I knew that's exactly how she'd react if that particular dream happened in real life.
Looking back, she only ever talked about me with her family and friends whenever I 'achieved' something. Promotions, where I used to work, profession, you get the idea.
Earlier this year, I filed for permanent work-from-home status. I've been pretending to be unemployed, living an extremely frugal lifestyle since then. It has only been 2 months but everything's way more different (for the worse) now.
I feel like I'm in constant competition with her phone for her attention. Intimacy, anything physical, not just sex, is a tenth of what it used to be. We've talked about this. The problem is that her words are almost the complete opposite of her actions.
I think I've accomplished the goal of this little role-play of mine. I refuse to accept that bringing in money is all there is to my 'value' or 'worth,' whatever that means. But at the same time, for some reason, I just can't bring myself to put an end to this relationship.
Am I the asshole here?
This guy thinks his girlfriend's a 'gold digger,' but doesn't the fact that she didn't break up with him when he's been out of work for months prove just the opposite? If she was really only concerned with money, she would be going after some rich dude, not wasting her time with this lyin' dud.
Maybe she's acting differently because she's upset that he has no job and isn't looking for one? Maybe she can sense he's lying. Women aren't dumb, we know when something's fishy.
There are plenty of reasons that explain her behavior, but I can't find a single one that justifies his. She's a gold digger because she had a dream about her engagement ring and laughed about it? She's proud of his accomplishments?
Newsflash, you don't have to be a gold digger to want someone with a job. He is unfairly projecting his insecurities onto her. She didn't leave him when he was 'out of a job' but I have a feeling she will when she finds out she's being lied to, manipulated, and secretly tested.
This pathological liar is definitely 'The As*hole.' He needs to stop playing games and sabotaging their relationship and immediately break up with his girlfriend
Redditors were torn between 'YTA' and 'Everyone Sucks Here,' but we all agreed this relationship needs to end.
YTA. Stop playing your weird little game and break up already. You’re wasting everyone’s time and it just looks more unhinged the longer you keep the charade up
I sympathised until he started acting like a muppet and pretending to be broke instead of dumping his GF. OP dump her and get a clue.
She doesn’t love you, she loves your money YTA for continuing this muppetry and ESH because this relationship is crap.
More of an ESH here. But seriously, OP, dump her. I think the relationship was already over by the time you decided to pull this stunt of pretending to be broke. You already knew in your heart that she didn't value you as a person and partne
I mean ESH but what you are doing is not normal behavior. End the relationship. I am worried about you…
YTA. You lied to your girlfriend of two years for months. Of course she gives a shit if you've been seemingly unemployed the whole time - yery few people actually want to be the sole person in a relationship bringing in money. That has nothing to do with being shallow - that's stability.
I'm the least materialistic person I know, I only care about having enough money to survive, but I certainly wouldn't date someone who spent two months dicking around either. just break up already ffs.
SECRET TESTS SUCK. YTA. You 2 aren't compatible. Break up.
YTA. Lying to your partner to 'test' them makes you a major asshole. Just break up with her if you believe yall are incompatible.
I dont agree with her philosophy on money and achievements. But tbh if I believe my man was was just sitting around for 2 months, no job, and ok with it, I wouldn't find that attractive either, so I don't know what your experiment really proved.
YTA, this is sociopathic behaviour. Maybe she’s on her phone and mad at you because you’ve been “unemployed” for 2 months and aren’t looking for a job?
So you’re impacting both of your relationship, majority of divorces happen because of money disputes and you just fabricated one because you felt like it, maybe she’s stressed that now she’s having to fund everything in your relationship?
You’re doing all of these immature mind games because of a dream, that’s very manipulative and frankly unstable behaviour. Do her a favour and dump her
YTA. You're not just pretending to be broke you're pretending to be unemployed and not looking for work. I would be getting ready to dump someone for being willing to leach off of me indefinitely.
Is she paying all the bills to keep your little charade going? You're calling her materialistic for liking nice things at the start of your relationship and for having a dream that you both laughed about at the time. It sounds like you don't even like her.